Unfeeling

Twenty Two | Embrace The Chaos

Amberley

Three weeks. It had been three weeks since I had seen him. My chest ached at the sight of his blonde locks and golden eyes. I could still feel his hands around my throats and his angry eyes.

"Get back to work, I'll be right back!" I call, stalking toward Evan.

He looked tired and had dark circles underneath his eyes. He looked skinnier than I last saw him. Maybe he had taken what he had done into account. Truth was, I missed and needed him.

I grabbed his muscular arm and pulled him out of the training room and into the hallway.

"Do you need something, Evan?" I snapped. I knew my eyes were cold because I had been practicing this moment for exactly three weeks. I would be strong.

"I miss you Amberley," he admitted.

"Miss me? I've always been here," I rebutted.

"I've been a coward, I couldn't face you. Jeff came to my room. He was so fucking drunk. But he told me to come to you. He said you still love me."

I was silent after this, letting my mind take in the chaos of my thoughts. Recently I had found that embracing the chaos is much easier than fighting it.

"You know I've memorized every single persons name. Yet I don't know a single thing about any of them. I don't know anything about anyone. It's infuriating."

I leaned against a wall, exhausted. Taking the leading position with the teachers and Joshua had been physically and mentally exhausting.

"You know me."

"Do I? It's seems as if you know every thing about me and all I know is your name and that you're really mean." I say.

It was true. Evan had told me nothing about his past except his story about his father abandoning him.

"Do you need to know my sob story to know who I really am? I'm Evan Conway, I love Amberley Da Ville, and I'm a dick. That's all anyone needs to know."

His response was so shocking that I felt a giggle bubble up within me. Before I knew it, my whole body was convulsing with my hearty laugh.

I peaked up at Evan and laughed even harder at his uplifted eyebrow.

"Is something funny Amberley?" He questioned, trying to look angry but I couldn't miss the light in his eyes and the tilt of his lips. His lips...they were just as I remembered them.

Before I knew what I was doing, I flung myself at Evan and slammed my lips on top of his. He was shocked still for a second before he wrapped his arms around my waist.

His hands met the bare skin of my back and I shuddered and pressed my lips harder against him. I had needed him these past weeks and he wasn't there. But I still needed him now.

"I hate you," I said, throwing my hand against his chest. I was suddenly sobbing. Evan let me attack him with my fist. All my emotions I had been holding in to look strong had fallen apart at the sight of Evan. I was suddenly back where I was three weeks ago... madly in love with Evan Conway.

"No you don't," he whispered, grabbing my hands and bringing them to his lips.

"No I don't," I agree with another sob.

Evan smiles sadly and places another kiss on my upper lip.

"I was hurt Amberley, Eli was my best friend. I should have never hurt you like that. I want to be here for you. You'll find that when it comes to war, you don't want to hate me."