I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you (One Direction)

Chapter 49: The tape

"Your real father is Raven."

My brain went fuzzy and I was unable to take in what my dad had just said. I felt as though I didn't even understand english. He just said a few random words that I didn't understand, but before I knew it, my heart that felt as though it was lodged in my throat sank all the way to my stomach. I felt a warm numbness wash over my body, telling me to run. The back of my throat ached and ached, although no tears were left to fall down my cheeks.

My father was silent again and I saw a tear falling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry..." he whispered. "Your mother and I never told you this when you were younger because we didn't think you'd understand the long term effects it'd have on you... so please don't blame her. 

Lastly, I'd like to just tell you how sorry I am. I'm sorry I'm not there with you, I'm sorry I lied to you, and I'm sorry that you don't have me to talk to-"

Once again he was cut off by my mother. "Honey, I think she's about to wake up."

Me. I was going to wake up.

"Okay... I love you, but I also have to remind you not to look for me. Please, tell the same thing to Jen, although she's standing right here now..." he gave a small grin to my mother and pulled her into the camera's view as my heart broke over and over again. " I love you both with all my heart... Look after yourself, kiddo."

And with those last words, the video moved onto a clip of dad teaching me the piano when I was about 3 with my mother laughing behind the camera.

"Mum! Put the camera down!" I laughed, as I messed up my tune. Mum only laughed harder and my dad pulled me onto his lap.

"Ignore her, sweetie! Should we try again?" He asked me, looking at my little round face.

"Okay!" I chirped, placing my hands on the piano's keys.

"Ready, 1, 2, 3...!" My dad counted before our hands worked together to create a very familiar piece of music. My mother began to sing along to the song quietly, but I could hear her well because she was holding the camera. (Side)

"Stars shining bright above you, 

Night breezes see to whisper I love you, 

Birds singing in the sycamore trees, 

Dream a little dream of me...

Say nighty-night and kiss me; 

Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me, 

While I'm alone, blue as can be, 

Dream a little dream of me..."

I couldn't continue to watch the tape and walked calmly out the room, knowing that if I ran, one of the boys would follow. I reached the cupboard underneath the stairs and walked down the marble stairs that lead me to my home gym.

I walked into another familiar room, well more of a box, with a window that had a view of the gym. My father had added this little box in so he could watch me training without being distracting (the window was a mirror from the inside, like in the police interigation rooms). I opened the second door to the bright white gym and quickly staggered over to the punching bag. I wrapped a bandage around my hand to protect it and began to punch as hard as I could, over and over again, letting my anger control me. I stopped after about 30 seconds and looked down, noticing that I was not in the right gear, so I quickly ran to my locker and took out my kit before getting dressed, not caring if anybody was going to walk in. I pulled down slightly on my black Nike sports bra and pulled up my leggings before pulling my hair up into a ponytail.