Forever Broken // Carl Grimes

Chapter 30

"What?" She asked, her cheeks the palest crimson.

"You laughed," He said softly, "I haven't heard it in so long."

"Oh," She bit her lip, "Let's.. Let's just go."

She threw her leg over the quad, her bruises no longer paining her. She'd been given a salve for her back, and plenty of painkillers, and she was beginning to feel like more of a person and less of a ghost.

She felt a surge of happiness as the wind whipped through her short hair and she breathed in the fresh clean air. She could feel Carl's muscles tense as she squeezed him a little tighter, her heart begging her body to give in. But the cracks in her mind, they were too deep to repair.

"Just do what feels right," Carl said once they stopped along the side of the road. He'd marked a pharmacy and dentistry complex while Lauren was gone and he intended to scavenge it but never got to. He knew that they'd need something substantial to keep Negan happy, for all their sakes, especially Lauren's. She watched the dead that lingered around outside, a memory surfacing in her mind.

She squeezed her eyes shut and grasped at the wisps of colour and life that turned the cogs in her head.

"Show me how you fight, Little Viper."

She remembered being pushed into that arena, the jeering of the Saviors as they watched, hoping she'd die. She remembered killing everything in her path. She remembered fighting, and winning. She was a fighter, and she was strong. She would be that person again.

"He made me fight the Walkers before he did.. This.. To me," She said, her eyes squeezed shut, "It was a.. Station.. A police station doubled as a gun range. He kept me in a cell. I think I tried to escape, and that's why he punished me."

"Do you remember anything else?" He asked and Lauren shook her head.

"Just that.. That I was a fighter," She felt a burning sensation rise beneath her skin but she couldn't understand it. That hidden part of her she had jolted to life. There was something deep inside of her, and she could get to it, if only she had time, "I wasn't afraid of Negan, or what he could do to me. I want to be that person again. I want to be me."

It was the first time she had referred to Lauren as herself.

"She's in there," Carl said softly, "You'll find her again."

Lauren nodded softly and clenched her machete in her dominant hand, releasing a long breath. She was weak and she was recovering, but she needed to know that she was capable. She walked with a fractured confidence, but a piece of her remained. A fragment of Lauren shone through as she pushed away her fear and pain, letting it fuel her instead of hinder her path. She was a fighter.

She could see Carl in the corner of her eye, swiftly taking down each undead that met him, at the same time watching to make sure she was okay. But she was in a different place. She wanted to prove to herself that there was a strong girl within her, a girl that would come back from being shattered. A true portrayal of strength.

She cried out as she brought her machete down on the head of the undead. Her unused muscles jolting to life, she felt that burning beneath her skin, pushing her forward. She grasped onto that flame, that fire. Her fire. Like a roaring blaze it wrapped itself around her. She was a survivor. She was a fighter.