not a dream ; connor franta fanfiction

Chapter 19

I looked at myself one more time in the mirror before walking out the door and getting into my car. I looked so depressing. Then again...it was a funeral. It started in about 30 minutes. The guys were going to meet me there in a few.

I didn't want to go...which I've mentioned like 2.2 billion times, but it's true. I kept wishing that something would come up and I wouldn't be able to go. And yes that sounds mean of me, but that's all I've really been thinking about for a few days.

I finally arrived at the site of the funeral. It was filled with people wearing all black and some even crying. Most people were going up to her parents and saying sorry.

"Hey Connor." I heard Jc say behind me. He sounded depressed and not like himself.

I turned around right away. "Hey. What are you doing all the way over here away from everything?" I asked.

"I just...don't want to think about her right now. I don't want to think about anything." He said looking down.

"I know how you feel. Losing her was the worst thing that ever happened in my life." I said putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I miss her too."

"Yeah, I know." He said sadly again.

We walked to where everyone was crowding outside. People came up to me and said sorry and all that crap. People gave speeches and so did I. I mean, I had no choice. She was my fiancé and plus her parents kind of forced me to. At the end of the service, some people announced that they were going to be lowering the casket into the ground. By this time, I definitely didn't want to be here. I didn't want to cry, but I wanted to because all of her relatives said such good memories of her and it just makes me miss her so much.

As they lowered her body into the ground, I pulled the ring she gave back to me that night, out of my pocket. Other people were throwing in flowers and some people were throwing pictures of her. But I took the ring and threw it in the ground with her, so that she could have it with her forever. "I'll always love you Taylor." I whispered to myself. A tear slowly fell from my eyes. This was the worst day of my life. I just wanted to leave right away.