Rain

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Its been a whole two weeks since I saw Jason last, I'm not really sure how I feel about that since it seems the only thing I seem to be able to think about is him and the words that were spoken between one another. Just the thought of him keeping his promise had me a little nervous knowing the type of man he was. I knew it was really just a matter of time. Feeling a shudder pass through my body just thinking about the said person I squeeze my eyes tightly shut until they began to throb in pain, grabbing a hold of the edges of the couch. A soft hand rubs my back in soothing motions causing me to relax some.

Raising my head I look into my parent's worried eyes and a wave of remorse hits me at what I have been putting them through, but the heartache I'm feeling won't let me do much else, the only thing I have been able to do for the past two weeks is to cry non stop from the time I open my eyes in the morning until I pass out from exhaustion from it.

I sleep until I feel sick to my stomach then throw up which has now caused me to lose so much weight. I look as if I'm wasting away. Looking into my parent's eyes I see all the love they both have for me shining brightly.  Feeling happy that they loved me so much I couldn't help but feel my heart swell slightly with the warmth of their love. Pushing myself off the couch I throw myself into their open arms as I let the pain of everything come out in heart-wrenching sobs. I cried so hard that all the energy that I did have was drained instantly from me.

Falling limply into my dad's arms I close my eyes as he picks me up from my current position and carries me up to my bedroom. Feeling the softness of my bed surround me I feel my eyes close as dreams of the conversation me and Jason shared before he left replays over and over. 

Waking up I look at the clock on my night table that read seven I groan as my head pounds from all the crying I was doing last night. Sitting up in my bed I rub my temples as I try to find the strength to crawl out the bed. Walking slowly to my bathroom I grab two pills for my head and start a shower to wash away the stress I was feeling.

Standing under the hot spray of water I close my eyes and let the warm water touch every part of my body hitting every tense muscle that it touches, feeling my muscles relax and the painful headache slowly disappear. I slowly open my eyes and take in a deep breath. Looking down at my feet I see the white porcelain tub filled with blood and a scream so loud that it could probably be heard from miles away is pulled from my throat.

Climbing quickly out the tub and wrapping my robe around me I quickly place my hand over my small baby bump as I pray a silent prayer to the moon goddess, "I know that this baby wasn't planned but please don't take my baby away from" opening the bathroom door I see my bedroom door split into two as my dad stands in the doorway looking around frantically before his eyes land on me.

"D..daddy" i say looking down as more blood drips down my thighs and a sharp pain stabs me in the stomach so hard that I fall to the floor, whimpering in pain I close my eyes tightly as my dad picks me up and rushes out the house and to the car.

The only thing I am able to focus on is the sound of the tires screeching as my dad speeds through the streets towards the emergency room. Feeling myself being pulled back into strong arms I cry out in pain as another pain hits me this time more painful than the last.

"I need a doctor NOW!!!" my dad yells at an unsuspecting nurse, jumping into action the nurse leads us to an exam room before quickly disappearing out the door only to return not too long after with a doctor in tow. Coming to my side on the exam room table he checks my vitals as I bite my lip from the excruciating pain.

"what seems to be the problem" 

"I'm not sure doc i heard her scream and when I came in her room she was dripping blood and then she cried out in pain holding her stomach."

Nodding his head I watch as the doctor looks back over to me with the one expression I didn't want to see right now....pity. Shaking my head furiously from side to side tears stream constantly down my cheeks, I feel my heart breaking in half at the situation.

"NO...NOOOOOOOO......" I scream on a heart-wrenching sob this can't be happening to me, I had so many plans for me and the little one I just can't be losing him or her right now. My mom rushes to my side and I feel my self breaking down harder then I have ever done before.

"I'm sorry dear......sometimes these things happen and we can't do anything about......ill give you some medicine for the pain but I want to keep you here a few days just to make sure your OK"

Not even listening to the doctor talk to me i continue to cry my eyes out for the loss of my baby, as my mother whispers soothing words while rocking me back and forth. Little did she know no soothing words were going to be able to cure me of the pain in my heart. The nurse then wheels my bed into a much bigger room that has a big flat screen tv, a huge bathroom and a nice comfortable bed to sleep in. Picking me up I get gently laid on the big bed and covered up with a big fluffy blanket.

Feeling my eyes get heavy from the screaming and crying that I have been doing I feel myself falling asleep as the nurse starts an iv on me and puts some pain medicine in it to stop the horrible pain. the pain slowly goes away as I watch the door to the room open up and the one person I really didn't want to see at the moment stares back at me before I black out completely.

Jason.....

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