Garden of Evil (Lonely Hearts Club)

Two for the Show (part3)

After we finished the meal Tegan told me that he had to go home as fast as he could, so we headed towards the car.

When I was sitting on my seat Tegan started driving immediately. 

He was driving  fast. From time to time I felt his eyes on me. And sometimes our eyes met, he just smirked.

It was comfortable. And I was actually  thinking about the absurdity of this situation.

Only a few hours ago this man was scaring the crap out of me and now I felt his present pleasant.

"You should try it", he turned his head to me when he said that.

"Try what?"

"Sex of course."

I turned my head to the road.

"Why are you so obsessed with that topic?"

"Because it's unnatural for someone at your age not to have sex or at least masturbate, you know. You should be enjoying your libido."

"I'm not interested in one nights stands, having affairs nor does the idea of having...ehm... selfcare sound that ... I'm okey with the way it is now. I couldn't care less about my libido."

"What are you talking about? You won't stay untouched for long, trust me. You're so cursed by your beauty. Men are going to notice you. Hell they are already noticing you, now. What if you met a man you could imagine to spend the rest of your life with..."

"The man of my life, really? I mean if I ever want to reproduct I'll consider it. And I will not ever let myself get into the vicious cycle called marriage... I'm not repeating my father's mistakes."

"What happened to your dad?"

"Come on. I think you already know." I said hinting at the fact he had read a very detailed summary of my life not long ago, today.

"Why did he do it?"

I didn't want to tell him but I guess the side of me that always was hungry for human interaction was in control now. Years of isolation just never thought me to interact and  I kind of opened up.

"Bianca broke him and he couldn't put the pieces back together. Even when she left him for someone else he couldn't let go. He tortured himself until he couldn't take it, anymore. That's all to it. Basically."

"Bianca, is she your mother?"

I  took a deep breath and l looked at her ring on my finger. My voice became a haunted whisper when I answered, it sounded so fragile I hated myself for it.

"I wouldn't call her that, but biologically yes."

23 years and 2 months had past until she never called me a daughter and was starting to try to be in contact with me. After my dad had dies, after I finished my education. What was she even thinking? Why now was the bigger question.

"I understand."

Those where the last words I had heard him say before I just leaned my head on the window and closed my eyes. This day was exhausting.