Diadem

D A Y T W E N T Y

She looks like she's in shock because of my physical attack (and maybe my impromptu cuss word, details) but she nods nonetheless. I take a deep breath to calm myself down.

"My sister; Vanessa and I have always been close," I hug my knees to my chest to brace myself, "We did a lot of things together. Homework, sleepovers, movie nights. She's practically my best friend."

Venus snaps out of her daze and nods. I ignore it and continue.

"When we got to high school, she joined the punk rocker gang and I became the stereotypical kind of popular because I was a pretty good cheerleader. But we were still close. We lived in the same house so we always caught up in my room or hers; we just didn't lose our connection. We didn't get to talk much at school but that didn't faze us.

"But my so-called friends didn't accept Vanessa as the know it all nerd punk she is. They made fun of her when she wasn't around and the toxic energy kept depressing me because I felt that I didn't want to lose all I had because of a few cruel jokes. I was stuck; be like them and wave off the bad things they said about her or dump them and be with Vanessa?

"They made the decision easy for me when they broke her guitar in front of me," I crack a sad smile at the memory, "We were in the locker room. I walked up to Vanessa to greet her and they followed. But it got too much; they decided to make fun of her and she started crying and I felt so freaking hopeless because I was scared to do anything. Why the hell was I scared? I don't know. I just didn't move; I watched her cry her heart out and I know the main reason she cried that day was because I wasn't even trying to defend her."

I still hate myself for that in my weaker moments. "But I snapped out of it when they pushed her aside and broke her first ever guitar. It was something that she got that day and she wanted to show me later when we got home. But they ruined the surprise for us both."

"Oh," Venus says. I ignore her because I'm in too deep with the story to indulge in her opinion.

"I don't know what killed me more; the way she looked at me before she walked away with the guitar parts or the way my so-called friends said I had done the right thing.

"I sunk into a mini-bubble of depression. I didn't eat for a while. I couldn't even make eye contact with Vanessa. I felt like I had no one...so I decided to turn to God. I've watched tons of stuff about how God always tries to guide people through the right path so I went to the guidance counselor for advice.

"He told me about various religions; Christianity, Islam, Hinduism— and how being spiritually active can help to cleanse the soul or whatever. I took it upon myself to read on various religions. It took a month before I finally found peace in Islam."

"How?" Venus whispers. Her voice sounds fragile and she's avoiding looking in my general direction. But the question holds significance, so I clear my throat.

"Islam is a misunderstood religion. Terrorists today keep doing atrocious acts under the umbrella of Islam and make the religion look bad. I felt like it was something I could relate to. I was a good person with bad people and that made people think I was bad too."

She nods like she somehow understands my logic. I'm not sure if she does but I'm not ready to find out. I continue with my story.

"Anyhow, it wasn't easy at first. Giving up mini skirts and bacon. But it was something I was willing to do because I felt happy anytime I said, Allah. I wanted to establish that connection and I did. But I still wasn't on speaking terms with Vanessa. So I did what a desperate sister would do.

"I apologized with lots of food and I got her a new guitar after selling most of my clothes at a yard sale. She was ecstatic and she's still using the guitar to date. She didn't agree with Islamic views but she offered moral support when I broke the news to my parents. They didn't mind in the slightest and that just gave me the courage to finally wear a veil to school.

"No one understood. My so-called friends left me when I had to quit cheerleading because I wasn't allowed to improvise with the uniform. But I still had Vanessa and her friends welcomed me in so I didn't feel so alone," I shrug, and finally, Venus meets my gaze, "And Islam is something that makes me happy. Praying makes me happy. Touching the Quran makes me stable. Being able to write self-thought Arabic alphabets makes me feel strong."

"And wearing all the stuffy clothes?" Venus raises an eyebrow.

"It makes me feel sexy," I smirk, "Can't you see that I'm one pretty hot hijabi?

She smiles warily. "I see," she confesses, looking away from me. I accept the compliment with grace.

We're silent for a long moment. I take a deep breath. "Popularity isn't bad. All I'm saying is that you should find the ones that aren't tainted with it. The ones I knew were horrible but the ones at your school may not be that bad."

She scoffs. "They're worse."

I look at my manicure. "Then why are you with them?"

Venus shrugs. "Because...I need to be popular."

"You don't need to be—"

"You don't understand!" she cuts me off shrilly, "No one does!"

"You can tell me," I refuse to raise my voice at her. She's unstable. She's depressed. All she needs is a little bit of care and she'll be okay.

"No I can't," she sniffs, "You aren't my friend."

"I know but—"

"Just leave Paulina."

"Venus—"

"Please."

I give her a once over. She looks exhausted and maybe my emotional onslaught is doing a moral number on her internally.

I've done my best for today. "Okay."

I stand up and make my way to the window. I can still hear her sniffles and I close my eyes and try to make my voice soft.

"Venus?" I turn to face her as she wipes her eyes, "I know we aren't friends but if you need someone to talk to...or someone to relate with..."

"Are you saying I can call you?" she gives me a dubious look with her puffy eyes.

"No," I shake my head, "I make pretty funny videos on Instagram. You should follow me."

She laughs and I suddenly feel a bit better. I nod and stick one foot out the window but I keep my gaze on her in case she tries to do something funny. Like, push me to my death or something like that.

"Um. Paulina?" she calls quietly. I return my full gaze to her. She smiles. "Thanks."

I return her smile although I know mine is ten times more attractive. "You're welcome."

I let my inner Tarzan out as I fully step out.

A/N: I hope I managed to pass across a message here. Thank you so much for reading. Ily.