Ashes [Jasper Hale] [2]

14.5 ; sleep well, darling

It was an impossible concept.

He was stuck in time through the whole time, and she lived. She went out. She kissed another. She held another. She was held. She was touched. She laughed because of another. She smiled, she cried, she ate, she watched TV, she had her mind full of another.

It was impossible.

"She belongs to another."

The five vampires in the house turned to watch Jasper as he uttered his first words.

"We've tried to warn you," Alice finally told him, rushing to his side. "But each time we've mentioned her name, you shut us up. You wouldn't let us talk about her. You said you want to see her."

"She belongs to another."

She reeked of him. He had to search for her smell, because all you could smell was the stinking dog. She was touched, she was kissed, by someone who wasn't himself.

That was an impossible concept-- he was meant for her, so it only makes sense she was made for him. How could the girl made for him touch another? 

Before him was puppy love, he knew that of Jared. But the one that took his place-- did he erase all traces of her love for him? He didn't feel love. He felt sadness, heart-break, anger. He couldn't detect any love for him.

And more than anything, the fact that when she smiles it's not thanks to him, that's what terrified him. The fact that she didn't feel that love he was stuck with for all the rest of eternity. 

If he could dream, it would be a nightmare.

If he could kill himself, that would be the moment he'd choose to do it.

If he could cry, he'd be bawling his eyes out.

If he could forget, he'd forget her.