Ashes [Jasper Hale] [2]

12 ; the edge

"Would you get your fat feet away from my face?" Jacob snapped, and despite the glare, it was as though the playfulness was rolling from him in waves. 

"No, you bumbling baboon."

The laughter that escaped our lips was one we both needed. It was a free one, of two best friends who has found each other after a long time of being apart. We were both much too stressed lately, since the Cullens came back to Forks, and for the past three days I was caged in the Rez, not wanting to face the chance of seeing Alice again- I knew my will would crumble- or Dr. Cullen- who would make me blubber- or Edward- that would make me stab him. Or the worst... that would make me crumble to pieces.

So I stayed at the safe place. The only safe place.

"I'm sorry dude." Jacob said simply. It was enough though.

"I'm too," I said just as casually. "Hug?"

"Whatever," he rolled his eyes, and I tackled him in a hug. There was nearly nothing familiar about hugging werewolf-Jake. He was bigger, stronger, much warmer (And hotter), but it was also the same. It was the same comfort that only people so close to you could offer.

"Don't cry, you over sensitive creature."

"I'm not sensitive," I sniffed, hugging him closer. "I'm allergic to ugliness."

"Looked in the mirror?"

"Looked at you."

►

That first day after Spring Break, I drove from La Push. I would be going home that day after so long of not being there, and Emily's made me lunch for the day-- which was extremely nice of her. I was starting to think she really was an angel.

"It's hard to believe I couldn't see that you were always there beside me!" I sung as I drove into the parking lot, driving my precious little Troy. I was still grateful for dad for buying it to me, and I was on the verge of ditching Paul and going to Vegas in order to marry it.

I spotted Tyler's car, and went to park next to it. Cracking the window open despite the rain, I started singing to him, making him laugh. "This feeling's like no other! I want you to know! I never had someone that knows me like you do, the way you do! I never had someone who is good to me as you, no one like you! So lonely before I finally found what I've been looking for!"

"What about me?" Mike wondered, but I paid no attention, leaving the car, the song still playing loudly, hugging Tyler tightly.

"I haven't seen you for two whole weeks!" Tyler lectured, stepping back. "What the actual fuck Ashley?"

"I've been in La Push, baby."

"La Push," Eric repeated from somewhere behind me with his creepy voice. Weeks of training on Jared trained me for that moment, as I blindly threw my bag at him. "Ouch!"

"Missed you!" I called, laughing. I turned to Mike, squealing.

"Servant!" he greeted me, scooping me in a hug. "No one has been cleaning my shoes!"

"Shut up, asshole," I laughed, pushing him playfully. He grinned, ruffling my hair.

"Your boyfriend is taking up too much of your time," he concluded.

"Well, if you'd meet him he'd be taking all of your time too," I wiggled my eyebrows at him.

"No man could make me gay."

"Except for Troy Bolton."

"For fuck's sake, no!"

Laughing loudly, I stepped back. It was all just like before, nothing's changed. Only me and how I saw everything. I needed to shake off the gloomy feeling chasing me everywhere. 

"Be right back," I stated, taking my bag from Eric and stopping Troy's engine, making the music stop. I grabbed my phone- which I admittedly forgot all about, leaving it in the car- and before I even realized what happened, I screamed in fright.

His blond hair was trimmed now, shorter than before. It suited him, though it caused me to be taken aback by the fact his face was showing clearer than before. My breath caught in my throat, looking over his perfect face, the way his nose was perfectly straight, and his pale lips quirked up like he was seeing something that caused him great happiness.

And his eyes.

Oh, the way they smiled.

Golden eyes following my brown ones like he was drinking them in as well. He wasn't breathing either, and I was unsure if it was the same reaction I had to seeing him again, or if it was fear of losing control.

He was still much too beautiful.

And I was still much too upset.

Before I could even open my mouth to tell him off, he had his against mine. I blinked, surprised.

For a brief moment I kissed him back, before everything came crashing back into my head. It almost hurt. I pushed him off, and frowning, he put his tongue back into his own mouth.

"What," I hissed, all of the anger flooding back into my body. Anger I've been pushing off for months now, all exploding as he stood in front of me, "the bloody fucking hell are you thinking, you complete asshole?!"

Blinking in confusion, he didn't speak. Simply leaning to kiss me again. I punched him, swearing as I realized my mistake a moment too late. I forgot that vampires had much stronger skin that I could imagine.

"Fuck!" I swore, shaking it.

"Ashley?" he wondered, and I felt my knees shaking as I heard his voice again. I had to close my eyes to regain my self control. How could he be so perfect?

"What, Jasper?" I hissed, grasping my hand tightly. 

"I-- what... I'm sorry."

I breathed in anger, checking my hand. By the familiar pain, I knew better than to continue  the check-up. 

"Tyler," I called, and he walked over, looking at Jasper wearily.

"Yes Ashley?"

"Could you drive me to the hospital? My hand is broken."

"Of course," he said, entering the driver seat, as I walked around Jasper to get to the passenger seat. Jasper chased after me, much too slow.

"Wait, I don't understand," he spoke carefully. "Do you not want to discuss matters?"

"Tyler," I said carefully, trying not to snap in anger or cave in. "Who is Paul Lahote?"

"Your boyfriend," Tyler informed, confused.

"And Jasper Hale?"

"Your ex-boyfriend."

It was as though the pain from my attempted punch finally caught up with him. His face fell emotionless after a moment, calculating.

"You've moved on?"

I was about to close the door, not having it in me to see his golden eyes staring at me, so broken.

"But, I love you."

"No," I hissed. "I love you. You left me. There is a difference, though one could confuse the words. You broke me, so you don't get to come in here and act like nothing happened. Because you left me. You left me. Without a goodbye, without telling me why. You just... You were gone, and I didn't know what to do," I was fighting tears by then.

"I still don't what to do. But you left me, so you don't get to act like nothing's happened. You don't the right to." I closed my mouth, not knowing what else to say. "You broke me. You broke my heart, and I hate you..." I sniffed, trying to stop my tears. He looked as if he would cry, if only he could. "Because I still love you. And I hate myself even more."

Jasper Hale looked completely numb, for the first time since I have met him.

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."