Bored AF

the best way to speak

what the scallops

shut the fuck up before I slit your bitch ass throat with a banana peel
(heard that one from school- some kids be nuts)

I've been chopped
(this is useful when failing a test or being kicked out of a class) (these work best when at school obvi)

youve been chopped
or
I'm sorry. But you've been chopped.
or
you are chopped
(works best when firing someone or breaking up with your significant other)

fuck you and your crusty ass attitude
or
you better contour that attitude cuz that's ugly too

sorry I'm getting a call from my cellular device

lemme use my handy dandy *pause and smiles widely* noTEBOoK
(this may be used with other items such as your bitch ass sunglasses)

oooh I'm feeling spunky
(i.e. how I'm feeling rn)

let's get physical
(used during P.E. or any other activity such as putting on socks)

holy shiznit
(when you're around your parents)

great googly moogly
(when you're religious and you know god is watching)

holy crapü
or
holy shitzü
(normally when you've heard someone use it once and suddenly it's your go-to saying) (i.e. Dan Howell and me) (idk how or why)

fuck it up (name)
(when talking to best friend or anyone in particular) (grandma)

besT FRIEnd
(you know you a hoe ass mother fucker when you shout this across the way to someone you met last week) (honey I go to doctor appointments for a reason and apparently you're why I need a hearing aid)

bitch you got me BENT
(me to that damn hoe shouting across campus just to shout beST FRIEn at some fucker who she don't know the name of) (fucking text them goddamnit)

I'm shook
(excited or scared or overly happy) (aka excited)

not too long ago I waS A HOe
(used in a rhythmic tone with voice and sing songy style) (cuz it's a song)

suck my left titty bitch
(even if you have no tits- say it anyways!) (meaning you are frustrated with this person and they're being completely wrong and they tryna get their wrong selves point across your correct self) (this person would get you beNT)

reassess yo self
(something you'd say to someone who also is wrong and doesn't know what they're talking about)

ravioli piece of shit
(I actually like raviolis) (don't know why this one is in here)

sup my ninjas
(when you are not allowed to say the N word) (It's nigga) (honestly it's not a big deal)

whY CAN BLACKS CALL WHITES CRACKERS BUT THEY CANT SAY NIGGA; THEYRE BOTH INSULTS

now if someone said that to me this is what'd you reply back with.

*claps hands* bitch you got me fuckin beNT I don't know why you'd bring this shit up when you don't even know what you're talking about- reassess you and your dumb ass ravioli piece of shit. I'm fucking shook. I can't believe you said that. the word nigga has a history of racism behind it because white people used it as an insult to make their slaves work. that's why y'all can't say it. RE-A-SSESS-YO-SELF-YOU-UGLY-PIECE-OF-DUCKTAPE

no you cannot explain your reasoning, you can suck my left testicle bitch because I am so done with your fake ass common sense because no- I decline- you have been chopped bitch- get the hell out of my kitchen before you get slit by a banana peel

contour that attitude cuz it's just as ugly as your words are because you wrong

you ain't nobody's best friend fucK

then I'd walk away

|||||

this doesn't mean anything or to anyone in particular I just was bored and i thought this would be entertaining and funny

it sure got real so fucking quick wow

but yeah watch what comes out ya mouths because it ain't always pretty

peace out home slice