Fireflies Of The Dusk | ✓

04

Song attached: Lazarus by Porcupine Tree (one of the best songs ever. Don't judge my music taste).

Chapter 04

Almost a month back, when I had asked Keira to help me, she had asked what I meant. I didn't reply to her. Asking that vulnerable thing out of the blue was something even I wasn't expecting myself to do. But when the words 'from what' escaped her lips, my eyes cleared up. Or maybe I just reverted back into my cocoon.

I expected her to urge me to open up to her. I seriously expected that but Keira Wilson proved me wrong again. She simply smiled at my silence. She didn't pry.

In a way that helped me. I still missed Uthra. I still hated Ayisha. I still hated myself. But somewhere between the blur of passing days and nights, the weight of the guilt dulled. So did the hate. Maybe if my mother had been with me, it wouldn't have taken this long to accept the loss and the mistake. Or maybe if my mother had been with me, I wouldn't even have committed that mistake.

Don't go there.

Pressing my eyes, I pulled the comforter off of me and sat up, hanging my legs on the side of the bed. Turning the lamp on the nightstand, I tried to focus on the floor beneath my bare foot.

It was something Keira had taught me. It was a few days back when she forced River to hang out with me along with her. He had dozed off half way through the afternoon. Keira was telling me something when the memories resurfaced like they always do. Everything around me melted out with only two bright faces in front of me, one being my mother and the other being Uthra. Keira said I had unblinking glazed eyes and she had to shake me until I blinked. That was when she told me to press my feet against the floor whenever I felt like I was being sucked into a void. To grasp onto the feeling of reality since a floor will always be there no matter where I stand. I hadn't even thanked her then. She simply gave her toothy grin saying she received the 'thank you' via telepathy.

My cell vibrated on the nightstand, pulling my attention. I glanced at the clock.

1:34 AM

I picked up without bothering to check the number.

"Hello?"

A laugh sounded on the other side of the line.

Keira.

"Knew you couldn't sleep." Her voice had no grogginess of sleep.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping now?" I asked instead. A sense of security washed over me and I leaned back on the bed, placing a hand beneath my head.

She laughed again. "Some deep grumbling noise woke me up. I thought it was an earthquake and jumped up only to find that it was my brother dearest's snores."

My lips curled into a smile.

"I know you're smiling there," she said in a sing-song voice.

"I'm not," I lied but she simply tsked.

She then proceeded to talk random stuff. About a girl at class. About the postman who delivered her a letter yesterday. About a stray dog that always howls at night. About how watery their milkman's milk was. About more random things.

"I know you're trying to keep me company," I said interrupting her. "I appreciate the effort but go back to sleep. Shoo."

Keira's laugh echoed through my cell a second later. That second of hesitation showed I was right. "Not really." she still tried to lie. "River's snores are really loud that I couldn't go back to sleep. Thought I'd say 'hi' to your lonely self."