The Start of Forever-A Robsten Story

The Interview part 1

(2 1/2 weeks later)

Kpov

I have an interview with Nylon today and Cassie is doing the interview and it's a private interview so no audience. so at least I know this won't be too awkward. it's pretty much just talking about my daughter, I stayed up after Peyton needed to eat at 6:30 so I could shower and at least attempt to do my hair while she was sleeping. I just pulled it back into a ponytail and put a few bobby pins in it. and threw on a little gray dress I had in my closet. it barely fits since I haven't lost much of the baby weight yet. But it will work, I'm not ashamed of my body. after I finished getting ready I went and restocked the diaper bag.. by this time it was 8:30 and we had to be out of here by 9

I carefully picked Peyton up who was still sleeping out of the co-sleeper and laid her on the bed while I changed her and got her into a simple outfit. then we were off

we decided that Peyton would stay with Emily backstage until she needed me, then I would bring her out with me. I said bye to my girl who was pretty awake by this point and headed out onto the stage.

"Hi, Kristen, you look great," Cassie said as they both sat down

"Thank you"

"So how's that little one of yours?"

"she's great."

"How old is she now?"

"um ..almost 3 weeks." I had to think because I don't honestly keep track like I should

"How has parenthood been for you? is it as hard as you imagined? easy?

"Yeah, they always say if something is easy then your doing it wrong. I'm not saying being a mom is easy by no means but its a lot easier than I ever thought." "And when I say that I mean like I was prepared for like the horror stories you hear like the baby thats up all night crying won't eat. you know, that stuff and my daughter is nothing like that.

Now Rob said that you weren't originally going to keep her. You were gonna put her up for adoption. Is that true?

"Um....hang on a minute," I said looking at the floor I needed to process what she just asked me. "sorry, I'm just can't believe it right now." *sigh* "yes it's true I was going to put her up for adoption but I decided not too. and I bet he didn't tell you that he left me when I was 12 weeks pregnant and I never heard from him until he showed up to the hospital after she was born. Bet he didn't tell you that"

"Nope. Listen, Kristen, I'm sorry I should not have brought it up"

"it's ok Cassie. I wasn't originally going to talk about it because it's in the past and not necessary but since it's out in the open anyway feel free to ask any questions about it... yes, it's true I was going to put her up for adoption... I thought she would be better off without me and I was scared out of my mind when Rob left me but things changed."

"When did you change your mind?"

"I had been doubting myself for a long while about my decision with the adoption and I think the breaking point or turning point as some would say was when I almost lost her. or should say could have lost her and realized I couldn't abandon her. I instantly knew I couldn't give her up, she's all I have in this world. I love my girl more than life itself. I felt like giving her up was me giving up on her just because I was scared to take care of her. her father already bailed and I wasn't about to do that to her."

Now you said when you could have lost her? care to explain more?

Yeah, it's hard to explain. I was having some not normal stuff happen when I was 33 weeks and her movements changed in a scary way. she went from kicking violently after the incident happened to not moving at all but I went to the ER and they said it was just the placenta that had shifted so I could not feel her kick. everything turned out ok and it was such a relief to me and I think thats when I realized that I needed her, she has saved me a lot. if it wasn't for her I don't know where I would be right now. I wasn't letting anyone take her from me and i promised her that

"Do you regret not giving her up?"

"I smiled..."no not at all. I love her so much and I'm glad I did what I did."

"How do you feel now that you have her about her father not being there for either one of you?"

"Honestly, at this point, it's his loss. yes, I would love for him to be apart of her life but I'm not going to beg him. it's up to him, he's missing out on knowing his baby girl. shes the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"Now onto the less heavy stuff. Let's talk about your career."

"Ok," I said giggling

"Do you have any plans to return to work soon?"

"Depends on your definition of soon I giggled. Um, probably not for at least a year, it was funny because before I had Peyton I had accepted 2 job offers that wanted me to start about now. and I said yes thinking ok it will be good for me to go back to work after the adoption and stuff well I ended up calling them and saying hey I can't do these anymore. they were confused and I just said I can't things changed."

"Oh wow"

"Yeah, there was no way I would be doing a movie now there's no way---all the sudden Emily called me from backstage and I knew exactly why. I excused myself for a minute and met Emily backstage. She had Peyton who was crying in her arms.

"She wants you. I'm pretty sure"

"Ok, its fine ill take her. "shh, hun, your ok." "Thanks, Em," I said to her as I picked Peyton's blanket up and wrapped it around the both of us and I headed back on stage with her. I sat back in the chair and let her fall asleep on my chest.

"She's adorable Kristen"

"Thank you!"

"So how has your life changed since having her?"