Well, this seems to be a thing and Soccersoftball2 has given me the courage to do it.
My name is Lacey.
My nickname is CeCe.
I'm a daughter.
I'm a sister.
I'm a cousin.
I'm a friend.
I'm a teammate.
I'm a niece.
I'm a post player.
I'm a goalie.
I'm an outfielder.
I'm a doubles player.
I'm a straight A student.
I'm bisexual.
I'm a girlfriend.
And well, this is my story.
About two years ago, I moved away from everything I had ever known. Sure, everything I had ever known wasn't great, there was bullying and sometimes I felt as if I were the bully, but it was a routine and I liked routine. But, one day when I came to school, my best friend Allie (who means the world to me) told me she was moving. A few months later, I found out I was moving as well. And that's when everything began to crash and burn.
I isolated myself from most of the world. I didn't like going out anymore, and no longer was I the outgoing kid I used to be, but more quiet and introverted. I moved to a new school about an hour away, and well, people didn't exactly accept me at first, since I was different from most of the girls. While I wasn't sure at the time what it was, I just knew something was different. Very different.
There was this voice inside my head, the entire year, second guessing everything I did. What if you aren't good enough? What if they're laughing at you and not with you? Look at yourself, you're not cut to be a writer or play any sports, you're just a worthless piece of crap who happens to exist.
It was about a year later when I started getting back into my old routine. I began playing softball, and I fell in love. Suddenly, I wasn't a nobody, I was a teammate. I mattered for once.
It didn't stop there, suddenly I was signing up for everything, shotgun, archery, basketball, tennis, track. It took me a little while to realize that too much of a good thing was bad, even if it was sports. Suddenly, my reputation as a good student was failing, I was stressed out beyond belief, and everything was coming back to bite me in the butt.
And suddenly I was back to square one. Isolated. Stressed. And that little voice in my head telling me that I wasn't good enough. It was around that time that I rediscovered Wattpad, after a long break from another fandom. It was then that I discovered the USWNT, and got really into it. It was then that I met one of my best friends (who knows who she is).
Something this summer happened that changed me for the better. I calmed down a bit, I cut back a bit. (By that I mean I quit track). But I also added soccer, which I think was really more of a sport to me than track. And I think I just became a bit more me. I started to realize who I was, and what was going on. What was bothering me. And i decided I was bisexual. I figured it out. I calmed down.
While only one of my parents know about it, and she seems to think I'm just confused, at this point in my life I'm well, I'm content almost. My best friend and i are still great (she's sitting with me as I write this actually), I recently got a girlfriend who I love, my teammates and I, even though we're on a losing streak, are as close as ever, and i have all of you guys who always seem to lift my spirits when I'm down! (Especially three of you)
So guys, #ILivedBecause I didn't let that voice in my head stop me. And please, never let yours, because you ARE good enough! Don't forget that Alex Morgan was told by one of her first Youth club teams that she wasn't good enough, and look where she is now. So... #whydoyoulive?
