"I don't want to go." she cried. "I don't want to go. Make it stop. I don't want to go in. I don't want to go in there. I don't want to see her. I don't want to see her die." she sobbed, clinging to the seat while I tried desperately to lift her out. Her dad got out and walked in while I tried to reason with his daughter.
"We don't have to go in if you don't want to, baby. But you're going to regret it if you don't. Your mom- your mom is dying. She wants to see you. Sh- she wants to see you before she goes." I said. The words physically hurt me, but there was no other way that I was going to get her out of that car.
"Ok." she nodded. Tears, snot and makeup were all running down her face. She was shaking violently and we had had to pull over on the way here a few times so that she could throw up.
"Ok. It's ok. Let's go. It's going to be ok." I said, lifting her from the seat. With one arm just under her shoulders and the other under her knees, I carried her into the hospital while she continued to cry.
"I can walk." she said when we were getting near the reception desk, so I set her back down on her feet. I wasn't sure if she was telling the truth but I couldn't just walk into the ICU with her in my arms. I wasn't family. There were quite a few nurses standing there already and they already knew who Charlotte was- probably because her dad was there talking to them.
"Let's go, sweetheart." they said, taking her from me. A nurse put her arm around Charlotte's shoulders and another held her hand. These were good nurses. They were going to take care of her. It hurt to stay in the waiting room when all I wanted to do was help Charlotte, but I had to remember that I could only help so much anyways. After much haggling, they let me in the ICU waiting room instead of the general waiting room which made me much closer to Charlotte and her family. Piper ended up sitting down by me at some point because her dad and sister didn't want her to be in there. I was uncomfortable. I knew how to comfort Charlotte, but I had no idea what I was supposed to say to Piper.
"What's going to happen now? My mommy's going to die. But what happens after that? What are we going to do?" Piper asked, looking up at me with her childish, big brown eyes. It definitely startled me and I wracked my brain, searching frantically for an answer.
"Well, I mean... I guess that you're just going to keep going. You're just going to keep living. You're going to keep doing what you've been doing... But without your mom."
"I can't do that." she said, trying to look in the window at the ICU but the windows were too translucent to see anything besides shadows through.
"I'm sorry, Piper. I wish that I could fix it for you. And for Charlotte. I do... But I can't. No one can." I bit my lip. I remember sitting in an intensive care unit just like this when Gemma was dying. I already felt horrible but that made tears spring to my eyes. "Dammit." I barked, punching the wall while tears finally ran down my face.
"Sir, we're going to have to ask you to-"
"No, I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I swear." I said to a male nurse with a clipboard. "Everyone dies, Piper. I'm just so damn sorry that you had to find that out at such a young age." I murmured, putting my head in my hands. All of a sudden, I felt a little hand take mine. I looked down at Piper who was holding my hand and offering me a small smile despite the fact that her mom was dying less than two hundred feet away. I wiped my tear filled eyes with the back of my hand several times, trying anything to stop crying, but it wasn't working. I felt myself falling apart. I couldn't imagine how Charlotte must be feeling. I was suffering for her.
"It's ok, Harry. It's going to be ok." Piper said, softly. My chest hurt so bad. All I want to do is protect everyone I love. And I can't. I never can. Something always happens. No matter what I do, it's not enough. It will never be enough. I will never be strong enough or fast enough or smart enough. In this world, I can never be the best, which is what I would need to be to protect them. To protect everyone. We need to get out of here. It's not safe anymore. I'm done with the gang. I'm done with all of this. Charlotte was right. When we were laying in bed and she begged me to practically just run away with her and leave it all behind... she was right. I should have agreed right then. We'd be long gone by now. But her mom would have still died. And then Charlotte wouldn't have been here to say goodbye. This was still the right choice, even though it felt wrong. It was hours before I saw Charlotte again, but she finally walked out of that room. I looked up at her and she just nodded and started crying harder again. Her mother was dead.
"Come here." I said quietly and she did. She sat down on my lap and let me wrap my arms around her.
"I can't do this." she whimpered, clinging on to my shirt. Piper was crying in her dad's lap now. She kept crying for her mommy.
"Yes. You can. You can do anything, Charlotte." I said, firmly.
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Author's Note: Sorry that it was a short chapter! Even thought that sort of helps add to the chaos of the whole scene. There will be another update (hopefully) very soon. I already know exactly what I want to happen, so it should definitely be up within the week if not the next day or two. Thank you all so much for your continued support. It's amazing to have SO many people read what you write.
Always love. -P
Chapter 34 ~Bereavement~
Start from the beginning
