"N-No, I-" I started to say before he cut me off.
"No what?!" He yelled as he rushed closer to me.
"N-No sir," I said about to break down in tears.
"Then do as I fucking say, if you want to get into heaven, then you're going to have to obey your father," he said looking down on me like the Lord Himself.
I look down at my hands, picturing the blood that will be smeared all over. I look back up at him as I gulped nervously. This is for my dad and God, I have to make them proud of me. I stand up and answered him proudly. He smiles and gives me a noggie, messing up my hair a little. On the outside I was smiling, but on the inside guilt was all I felt. Only he looks so happy, I can't let him down. It will be quick and painless, nobody has to find out.
*The Next Night*
Dad equipped me with gloves, black clothing, and a large kitchen knife. I started down at the blade that was laid on top of my palms. I see the reflection of myself, thoughts were running through my head so quick. It was quicker than me running on the track. Only this isn't gym class, this is real life. This is really happening. I was having second thoughts about this whole ordeal, but there is no turning back now. I took the blade and put it in my backpack. I checked my watch, it was 11:03; Cameron should be walking down the street right about now. I then see him humming a tune and looking up at the beautiful stars. I took my hood up and tried to catch up with him.
"Hey Cam, wait up," I said waving my hand as I ran.
Cameron turned around and gave me this confused look.
"O-Oh Nash," he said rubbing the back of his neck nervously,"I-I wasn't expecting you to be here, especially since I'm gay."
"Ah Cam, don't worry about it, it's 2016, there's people all over coming out as... g-gay," I said hesitate to say that word.
"I guess you're right," he said smiling wider,"Hey, Nash follow me I want to show you something."
"W-Where?" I asked so caught off guard.
He grabbed my wrist and he started sprinting down our street. While I was basically begin dragged by him, I kept on looking at our hands, how they kind of molded together, how are they intertwined like roots of a tree. I like the feeling of his hand touching mine. My thoughts were interrupted when we stopped in front of this open field a few blocks away from my house. Faint memories flashed before my eyes as I remembered Cameron and me playing in this field.
We sat down in tall grass as the moon was shining above us. The trees surrounded us like a crowd to watch me complete this gruesome task. The crickets sing their songs as they broke the silence. I realized that we haven't let go. I know I have to, but at the same time I don't want to. He just smiles to himself as he couldn't himself to look into his eyes. While he was looking down I took the time to grab the knife in my backpack. When he looks over, I hid the knife behind my back. I smile nervously as I see a tiny of pink arise from his cheeks.
He picks up my hand and starts rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb. He scoots himself closer to me and I can hear his nervous breathing as attempts to stay calm, but fails. It's kind of cute that he's nervous. What? No, stop thinking that. He bits his lip and moves closer as I feel his soft breath. A hint of mint fills my nostrils as I take his scent of cologne as well. He leans closer until our foreheads touch. He looks at me, eyes widened, as the tension thickens.
"Nash, I really like you.. a lot," he quickly says,"You make me go crazy and I know you're straight. I know this is weird for you, but I can't help it. So can I ask you to do me a favor?"
"S-Sure, what is it?" I asked a little scared.
"Can I kiss you?" He whispers.
I grab the knife with my free hand and wrap both my arms around him. He puts his hands around my waist, squeezing a little. That little squeeze made me feel emotions that I could not comprehend. I like this feeling, but I can't be feeling like this way. He begins to lean in, the more he leans in, the closer the knife is to his back. Once he is centimeters from my face, I realize I wanted to kiss him. Not because I have to, or I am being held against my will. It was because I wanted to. He closed the gap between us and as my brain was screaming to do it. The rest of my body was loving the electricity this boy was charging me with. I threw the knife away.
We stopped for a moment so we could breath, I look at him and smiled. We were both in a daze and clouded with lust. Drunk in my pride, I sat on his lap as he stares up at me with utter disbelief. He gripped my waist tightly making me feel more.
"Cameron, I have to tell you something to," I said smiling down at him.
"S-Sure, what is it?" He asked flustered.
I move my head down to his ear.
"You make me lose my morals," I whispered.
Numb. That's all I feel is numb. My face is numb from the many kisses he bestowed upon my face. My hands are numb from scratching his back as he done many devilish things to me. Yes, I am numb.
Numb from positive feelings
Numb From Positive Feelings
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