Chapter 49: Say I Love You

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Troye

It was held on a Thursday. I skipped school for a day. I couldn't even remember half of it.

My mum got me a suit, seeing the little possessions I held. (None which included a suit.) It was your standard black blazer and white shirt with a tie, fitted and sized. I felt strangled in it, invisible hands holding my throat just enough to leave marks only I could see.

I sat at the back, along with a few extended relatives. There were tears in their eyes and down their cheeks. But I knew that it was more of the fact someone as young as Tyler had been killed, not that they shared barely the same blood as him.

I wondered how they would react if they knew I was the cause of his death.

No, I can't keep thinking this way.
Jackie stood up, spoke with sobs interrupting throughout it and then sat down. I stared at her, words not registering. This is what my mum must have been like when she lost me. Only, there was still a chance of meeting me again.

I left when they began to bury the coffin.

It wasn't right. Nothing was right. Everything was a downward spiral curling towards misery's open jaws, waiting to pounce upon everyone and bring bad luck.

I didn't fight back. I pushed all my friends away, let my father control my life and use me as a punching bag, get stuck in a planned marriage and lost control of my life.

With Tyler, I was able to pick up the pieces, let my friends know me again, be able to laugh and smile and say today was actually fun.

Tyler, a thousand watt grin and a laugh so infectious you just wanted to laugh, no matter what he said.

Tyler, the one who fell into misery's clutches just because he wanted to help the poor boy drawing because he had just that kind of a soul.

Tyler, the one I fell in love with.

I kicked the side of a building, oblivious to the pain that flickered up my leg. My hands tugged at my hair, pulled the skin on my arms, stretched my clothing. Anger was sliding and slithering through my skin, trying to break through my pores.

I collapsed against the wall of a building I didn't even know, pulling my knees up and just breathed. Breathing in, breathing out.

I managed to calm down eventually, the irritation scratching at the back of my mind.

My phone was in my hand, opened on contacts.

Tyler.

He left me his number because he heard my sobs. That idiot didn't even realise he was the one who caused it.

He always smiled when I ordered something with nutella, a fond grin alight on his face. I never told him I used to buy a jar and have it as a late night snack.

Purple hair. I never told him that a few times in class I wondered if it would taste just as sweet as fairy floss.

His eyes, the curve and colour. I had three sketches of them, one with colour, in my book. I drew them because I loved them. I never showed him.

I never told him that he was the light at the end of my tunnel, the prize at the end of a exhausting race.

The tunnel was now pitch black.

I was crying. I clicked my phone.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Click.

The number you have called is eiher disconnected or no longer in service.

I turned my phone off and stood up.

I passed many in the streets. All faceless masks passing by. They were probably staring at the teenager in a suit and red, puffy eyes. I didn't care.

Somehow I made it back home.

My mum greeted me saying she could have picked me up, before noticing my red eyes.

She could barely take a step before I closed in on her and pulled her into a hug.

"I love you, please never forget it" I murmured, tears pricking my eyes.

She rubbed my back and whispered, "I love you too."

A/N
Woo emotional roller coaster.
Hint: next chapter will be final.

Its been a long time coming, but it is coming to a close.

Ill talk about that next chappie, so be patient.

Anyway it has been an eventful few months. Homework is piling, I've got three things due next week, only started one. Procrastination at its finest.

Ive got a violin exam on the 14th, so hope that goes well.

Ive also had someone offer to translate this in Russian (pretty sure) so thats amazing and omg and wow. Thank you for doing that.

Anyway thats all, next one is final, have a great day.

BYE!!.

Jam.


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