Seize

Vase

I hated to walk. You'd think that by me walking fourteen blocks there and another fourteen blocks back everyday that I would be skinny. Hell no. Doesn't work like that for my plus size ass. Everyday I woke up at six and walked those forty minutes to get to Main street. Sadly the buses didn't run on this side of town. The people here in Chambers, VA didn't give a damn who or what they robbed. The poverty had gotten so bad most of the towns shops had closed up and boarded up their windows. They stopped the buses coming through here about three years ago. That didn't stop the crack heads though.

I was born here and practically knew all of the local crackheads. My older brother Mario was a dealer and even though my mother knew she couldn't object. Our house was in the back of the hood on a dead end street. And even though I consider this whole area a hood it was a lot better than what I could have been around. We lived in a two story torn up house that was use to be blue but now had leaves and moss growing up the sides. The doors creaked so loud and the porch had a hole so big in it I could see the critters playing spades underneath. I always tried not to look. My mom worked an hour and a half away and even though she was a good mother she still struggled to make ends meet. So Mario helped with his drug money but forced me to go to school. He'd always say, " You have to get out of here little sis. This place aint a place for you. Sometimes I use to think you were born to the wrong family."

Mario was never home and when he was, I always tried to leave him be. Most of the time it was just so that he could sleep and then he'd hop in the shower and get back out in these streets. No matter how many times I tried to get him to get on the right track it never worked. One thing he always did since we didn't have a father is make sure that home was taken care of.

My momma didn't struggle quite so much anymore but she still worked everyday. As long as he was in the streets though I don't think she could quite rest and that's why she worked so hard. He wasn't a king pin or ahead of a mass operation or anything. He just hustled to keep us a float. He name held weight though and anytime I ran across any problems while going home or going to school I'd just say his name if they didn't know me and everyone would leave me alone. I'd heard of my brothers reputation and he was old school where fists still talk and blood still ran. These few young kids out here in the streets knew even if they came after him with guns or after us there would be retaliation. As my brother would say, " They wanna see my gun smoke sis."

I tried to rush this morning making sure to pack all my books and notebooks. I wouldn't, no that's a weak word, I couldn't let them down. They made sure I had money in my pocket to get back and forth to school in Thant, VA everyday. They made sure I had all my clothes and all the food money I needed. Luckily, I had received scholarships so my entire education was being taken care of as long as I remained above a C average. I had even started taking four classes at a time. Since I didn't have any friends I couldn't tell anyone about my struggles, couldn't tell anyone about the pressure that my family put on me unwillingly, and I couldn't take a vacation. I was going to succeed but it just seemed like it was taking forever.

It was cold this morning as I jumped off the porch and landed on the concrete. I zipped up my floral jacket jacket and pulled my backpack on my back. Let me get this day started I thought, as I quickly started to walk towards the train station. Normally I would cut across a few vacant properties and walk down a few streets listening to music on my phone. But today was a little different. As soon as Big Sean' Get my shit together, was going off, I heard noises and loud thumps. Hesitantly I removed my earphones and ran up to the side of a old worn down brick house. It wasn't dark outside this early in the morning actually quite the opposite. It was pretty normal to walk past people getting beat up. Normally I would continue to walk and mind my own business like I didn't see anything. But for some reason today just wasn't my day.