Parineeta

He Never Knew

"Manik! Tunne Nandini se puchha kyu nhi ki vo Lonavala kyu gyi thi!" Cabir rattled around Manik.
"koi zarurat nhi hai! Vo gyi kyunki uski marzi thi.."Manik said abruptly. By now he had realized he was breaking the rule, he himself had made for this fake marriage that, 'we won't interfere interfere in each other's life! We won't do anything that the typical husband and wife do.'
He also knew that i was abiding by the same rule and was doing whatever i used to, earlier.
"par buddy.. Vo aise bina bataye kaise jaa sakti hai!"Dhruv was behaving alot concerned.
"pehle bhi toh jaati thi! Tab toh hum mein se kisi ne nhi puchha.. Jab se we got married tab se tumhe sab janna hai.. Vo kaha jaati hai! Kya karti hai! Kyu?"Manik blurted out just as they reached the jam room.
"because tumhari shaadi se pehle vo jab bhi kahi jaati thi toh hume bata deti thi!"Cabir revealed. Manik had never known that he was the only one who never knew of what's happening in my life and neither did he ever try to know.
"matlab.. It was only me who knew nothing!"he asked shocked.
"that's what she is doing... Always making you feel guilty!"Alya said irritated.
"guyz.. Forget it! Lets jam!"Mukti said.
"that's better!"Alya added and they headed inside the jam room for a round of jamming.
"guyz! Kitne din ho gye... Pehle jaise party nhi ki.. Lets party tonight na!"Mukti urged as Manik tuned his guitar.
"not bad! Yes we'll party tonight... My place!"Manik said and continued tuning.
"are you sure.. I mean Nandini bhi hogi ab vaha.. Usse koi problem.."Alya cut Dhruv in mid. She was seemingly pissed off with the way Dhruv had been showing his concern over me.
"vo Manik ka ghar hai... She shouldn't have any problem.. Aur hogi bhi toh we shouldn't care!"Alya said irritated and Manik cornered. He didn't say anything and continued with strumming his guitar.
.....
"Nandini.. Aaj ka pya plan hai!"Navya asked me in a hope for a party again but i wasn't in a mood. There was alot of work for me and i had to complete it by tonight.
"nothing! Got alot of work! And you better stay away from parties.. You're getting into a lot of stuff!"i said eyeing her angrily.
"you spiked my drink Navya?"i asked her looking directly at her and she looked down.
"I'm sorry na Nandu! Hume kya pta tha ki tum itni zada.. Vo toh Maddy ka idea tha!"she said and i rolled my eyes.
"anyways abhi I'm going home.. Meet you guyz tomorrow!"i said getting up to leave.
"I'll drop you?"Arya said standing up. "naah.. Scooty!" i showed him the keys and he nodded as i left.
"Aryaman... Kyu kar rhe ho tum apne saath aisa.."Navya asked looking concerned.
"kaisa?"Aryaman pretended to not understand what she meant.
"tum jaante ho na Nandini ne humesha sirf Manik se pyaar kiya.. Aur shayad hamesha karegi.. Chahe vo kitna he dikha le yeh toh tum bhi jaante ho aur hum bhi ki vo abhi bhi sirf Manik se hi pyaar karti hai.. Mat do apne dil ko jhoothi tasalli ki vo kabhi bhi tumhe ya tumhare pyaar ko apna paayegi!"she said patting her hand.
"Waah.. Navya kya baat hai tum toh badi philosophical ho gyi.."he winked at her changing the topic and she sighed.
...
I reached home only to find Fab5 shifting the couch and the furniture.
Nyonika ma was setting up the lunch table and as per our manners say, i directly went to her keeping my bag on one of the chairs and began helping her setting up the lunch.
"Nandini jitna mushkil dil lagana hota hai utna hi mushkil uss dil ke tutne ke baad usse sambhaalna hota hai... Mujhse kuch chhupa nhi hai.. Lekin mai bas itna kahungi ki zindagi bhot lambi aur kab yeh zindagi kya mod le.. Hume nhi pata hota.. Toh isliye kabhi give up mat karna.. Aur zindagi se bhaagna mat.."Nyonika ma suddenly said patting my head as i set the bowl of rice on the table.
"ma.. Ab na iss dil mein kisi se judne ki energy bachi hai aur na kisike haathon tutne ki.. Jab sab kuch destiny hi decide karti hai toh mai bhaag ke jaa bhi kaha sakti hu.."i smiled at her and she nodded.
"ma main fresh ho kar aati hun!"i said and picked up my bag to leave.
Just when I turned i hit something hard.
"ouch!"i hissed.
"I'm sorry" came a voice and i looked up. Manik was standing there unmoved as he looked me in the eye. I rubbed my forehead as i reciprocated the eyelock with the same intensity as his.
"it's okay!"i said and suddenly i felt myself drowning in those eyes. He still affected me the same.
We were still looking at each other unblinking when suddenly Alya intruded.
"baby! What're you doing here.. Come lets go!"she said grabbing him by the arm. I looked at him and then at their interlocked arms. A sudden giddiness built in me and i felt something breaking in me again. Wow! He still had the power of breaking the already broken pieces of me.. Great going! I sulked on my inside and left from there before my welling up tears became evident to him.
The walk up to my room had been the longest one. That room. Today something in me was hurting to go in that room. Though i called it my room but every inch of me knew that it wasn't mine.. Never had been.. And never will be. I was always an outsider and that is how it will be forever. Manik! A name that was my favorite since i don't remember when but now it only pained me.
I entered the room and felt a sense nostalgia overpowering me. I still didn't know why i was here. Why it was always me to bear with every hurt. However much i share with anyone this pain, i knew, would never lessen until its cured by the one who is the reason for this pain, and, that was never going to happen.
I dumped my bag on the couch and went in the washroom.
The splashes of water i spill on my face did nothing to make me forget everything. I took the towel wiping my face as i went back into the room. "we're partying tonight on terrace!" i heard his voice and looked at the door, the towel still in my hands.
"enjoy!"i said putting to the towel on the couch as i switched on my laptop. "wanna join?" he asked. I looked at him and his eyes seemed to have alot more than what he just asked.
"it's your friend's time!"i said getting back to my laptop. Nothing work related came in my mind and finally i opened a folder i had decided i won't open.
It had Words! My words that i had written for him.
"that includes you too!"he said softly and i pretended to not hear.
"still wanna join?"he asked and i looked at him blankly.
"nope! Got a lot of work.."i said and he nodded turning away.
"Manik!"i called him as my voice started giving up, taking his name was my favourite habit that i was giving up. But alas! Bad habits die hard.
He turned to look at me with some hope that i was going to crumple down.
" do me a favour! I know you guyzz must have got drinks for tonight! Mind if i take one bottle.."i said much to even my surprise.
"drink?"he asked again just like the previous day.
How do you think i will survive in this house.. With you! Its impossible to not be the one who i am especially in front of the one i love the most.. But how would you difficult it is to see the one you love in someone else's arms! I cried on the side. I wish i could explain him.
"yaah! I definitely need it today! Have got alot of work!"i said and he nodded and turned away.