Parineeta

The Last Nail!

I looked in the distance, piecing everything bit by bit but my heart seemed to be unable to process and believe whatever Cabir just said, it felt like he was saying everything that I would've loved to hear a year ago, but at this point, it just feels like a lie, all of it but I didn't know how to say it to him.
"Cabir.. I wanna believe you.. whatever you said... But his actions and your words are so different.."
"I haven't finished yet... But If you don't believe me.. I can stop here.. you can wait for Manik to tell you all of this all over again someday... Because he will.. he just needs sometime... And I'm sure he will find a way to put all of it through to you.."he mentioned Manik and that he wasn't finished yet and as much as my heart found difficulty in believing all of it, I wanted to listen to what more did he have to say.
"Nai.. go on.." Cabir smiled softly as if he knew.
"Sure?"he asked and I nodded gently.
"So yeah.. his insecurities begin to surface again with Aryaman in your life.. when you tried to make it clear that you had a life beyond Manik, you tried your best at avoiding alot of meetups and spending time with him when you and Aryaman used to be at each other's place on random days.. he even once came to tell me.. casually ofcourse.. that maybe you'd finally found the right guy for you.. and that maybe you were dating Aryaman.. because by the end of the first year.. Aryaman started making it evident that he was falling for you.. he used to call you his girlfriend.. unofficial tho but yeah.. these gossips began to circulate... You'd already taken your place in the college as the singing Diva and there were so many guys dying to get a chance to date you but all you ever did aas hangout with Arya.. so yeah.. I could see a frustrated Manik roam the corridors of SPACE, on somedays looking for you.. on some wanting to assure himself of your presence.. and some really desperately wanna talk to you... But yoy were always with Aryaman except for sometimes that he used to get "lucky"... He said that.. called himself Lucky... To catch hold of you just before you would be going to meet Aryaman.. but nothing serious happened until second year when Navya made way into the college and with her..."
"Came her cousin, Maddy.." I completed the sentence before he could almost involuntarily.
"Mhm... And you know what happened after that... Now he wasn't just worried about Maddy only, he had Aryaman too... Infact Aryaman even more than Maddy since Maddy had taken to be a player and was making it clearer that he couldn't do long term commitments... But still a few times Manik would read alittle too much into it, like the towel incident after you guys got married, a few of your hangouts before you and Manik got married... it bothered him.. especially when he realised that you'd developed the habit of just vanishing.. going on random log drives or rides... Because for him, you were never like this... It happened to you after you met these guys... He did not want to control you.. never.. not as a friend.. not as a husband.. not as a..."cabir looked at me slyly and a smirk settled on his face before he finished his sentence and I raised my eyebrows.
"Boyfriend..."he giggled. My eyes involved rolled. Manik was never my boyfriend. If that he was to anybody, it was Alya. This was not how I'd pictured my love life. I'd imagined falling in love with a guy who could be my calm which Manik was. He brought me peace and I fell for him. From whatat Cabir told, it seemed like Manik never understood how a person falls in love. He seemed to think the more some people spent time with each, the deeper they fell fod each other, which is true in a sense but that's not the complete truth. There are so many more things to it. The understanding, the connection, the feeling of being complete and at peace with the world inside and outside of us. That's what makes a person fall for another person.
"He was never a boyfriend..."I muttered and he looked at me like I was an alien.
"You clearly never noticed his obsession, possession, and affection for yourself then... But trust it was much that alot of time even Mukti was suspicious... She used to me.. ki yeh Manik Nandini ke beech chal kya raha hai... Manik ki harr baat mei Nandini ka naam aata hai.. inn dono ka koi scene hai kya? And I used to brush it off saying what Manik used to say.. naah they're not each other's type.. Manik used to go crazy when you used to go for nightstays at Navya's because he'd found out that Maddy used to stay with her... And he also knew that Aryaman and all of them were gonna be there.. I mean what's a nightstay for if not for friends... Manik never expressed it but the times that you used to go for those drives and he wouldn't know.. he used to panic so much.. initially he even mentioned wanting to put a tracking device in your cars and scooties which he probably did after you guys got married.. atleast tumhare phone aur uski ek car ka track he started keeping..."Cabir said and I was more than surprised. So he was infact genuine that day when I'd got Medha home, that he used to track my phone. I remembered Medha, her sweet face and her innocent giggles. I wondered where she would be right now, how would she look now, although a year is not a lot but it still is. I wanted to meet her too.
"So everything happened the way it did,there were alot of times when you quite literally saved Manik from alot of things, especially Harshad's tricks because of the person you'd become over time... You had learnt how to fight back so you and Manik kept protecting each other unknowingly and even though Manik never said it, a part of him believed that you could protect him, save him from anything and everything, but then one day, when you decided to take a leave from college.. Harshad pulled one of his dirty tricks on Manik.. that was a weird day.. alot of happened in that one single day... Harshad pulled the most disgusting trick, you weren't there.. Manik took an impulsive decision and it all came down to this... Harshad, that day, made the announcement that he'd found out that Manik was gay, and he put up a video of Dhruv and Manik talking to each other but it looked more like Manik was proposing to Dhruv..."shock settled within me, I never knew about it. Manik never said anything about it. He didn't infact tell me anything beyond the fact that he'd proposed to Alya that day. Cabir continued as if he was replaying the whole incident once again.
"It escalated into an argument.. I could see Manik getting irritated.. he was losing his temper at Harshad and none of us knew what to do... The video was demeaning.. but it was there.. and people believe what they see and hear more than what the truth is... Because at the end of the day everybody wants gossip... Manik was getting restless.. I'd noticed him look around as if trying to find someone.. you..  but you weren't there.. and in an instant he had said something that shocked and surprised all of us... He said he had a girlfriend... We were blind sided once again... His eyes were still roaming through that room filled with people.. and then suddenly settled on Alya for a second before he looked back at Harshad.. the next thing he said was that Alya was his girlfriend and Harshad shut up... He had nothing to say.. we played along.. we asked to Manik to propose to Alya in front of everyone and make it official.. and he did.. he was saved.. Alya was happy.. everybody was.. I tried to but I was disappointed and even he was somewhere deep down.. and then your marriage happened.. he had told me that he had given you both the news together.. first the one about proposing to Alya.. and then the fake marriage.. you turned cold... Everything changed.. he knew it.. he could feel it.. he hated the fact that you were going so far from him but he couldn't do anything.. he was trying to balance things and also convince himself that that was what he wanted, that he really did love Alya and you were only a friend... But then on a Fab5 night I decided to really know... Where you guys stood in each other's lives... That night on the terrace... We were playing truth or dare.. the night you'd asked for a beer and he was so annoyed... More like with himself because you never liked drinking and you trying it all.. he believed that he was pushing you to it... that day I saw the restlessness in him for real... He just wanted to chuck Everything and be with you.. make sure you did not do anything that you didn't like... And then I butted in.. I had to know.. I needed to know so that I could talk to you about what you needed to do with this marriage thing.. I dared him to kiss Alya.. everybody thought I was trying to play cupid.. but Manik looked at me with a look of disbelief in his eyes... His eyes held betrayal.. his own and yours too.. like I had not understood anything about him in all these years.. and that.. made me happy... He had stood up.. closed up to Alya.. held her face in his hands... And just one Mukti, Alya and Dhruv thought he would do it.. he kissed Alya's forehead and said he needed to use the washroom.. he left after that.. I still don't know where he went.. but he was gone for long.. so either he went to lookel for you or he shut himself somewhere to hate on himself a little more..."cabir said and replayed that night and how Manik had come to me to tell me that it was just a dare. I hadn't watch him do it but there were so close when I left from there, I beleived that they did. But what Cabir just said, I was getting to know everything that I could never have thought of otherwise.
"He came to me.. he knew I was up there and I'd heard and seen alot of it.. just not what he actually did.. he came to tell me it was just a dare... He still didn't tell me that he did not do it.."I muttered softly.
"Because technically he did... Even if on the forehead.. he did kiss Alya.. and for him even today, that feels pretty much like betraying you, cheating on you.. so yeah.. that's all that I know about Manik.. aage whatever happened you know it better and..."he looked at his watch and freaked out.
"Damn it Nandini.. Alya ki doli se pehle meri arthi uth jaegi.. I've been here talking to you for more than an hour.. Navya meri jaan le legi... I had to get so much done.."he said and got up.
"Chal rahi ho?"he asked before he stepped away and I nodded in a no. I had to think it all over again. Make sense of whatever he told me, piece it all together and figure out what's right and what's not and also what needed to be done next. He was about to leave when I remembered something amd called out to him.
"Cabir"he turned and bobbed his head in a question.
"Tell your friend that I said thankyou for the clothes and I liked the them... There's probably alot that I've to figure out but I'll not take this away from him.. I really liked his effort even if it wasn't solely for me.. I liked it.."I said and turned away as Cabir stood there probably figuring out what he should say and if he should lie but he didn't.
"I will... And on that note.. I'll just tell you this.. and still not defending.. just stating the fact that even surprised me... It was for you.. solely for you and completely by him..."he said and left with his words ringing in my head as I sat there unable to get a grasp.of reality because it did not look or sound real. All of what Cabir said, it was unreal but as he said he'd spent more than an hour talking about it, there was no way that he would make that up. I still needed time to understand and put everything in place before I really confronted him. But I would definitely.