Chasing Destiny

Chapter Two

Not Edited!

Three Months Later.

I took one last glance at myself in the mirror and smiled at my image,I looked okay today,not really beautiful ,but I was satisfied with the way I looked,the almost permanent heavy bags I had under my eyes for the past couple of months had started wearing away little by little.and for that I was glad.

My face was pale and I had no makeup not even powder but somehow I'dmanaged to look okay.i am a natural look kind of a girl.

Satisfied with my look,I made my way towards  my mothers room.

"Salam Alaykum,can I come in,?"

"Yes Come in khadijah"

I sat on the bed as I waited for her to speak up first.

"You look okay today Alhamdulillah,do you want Bashir to go with you?she asked concern laced in her voice.

Modibbo(my grandfather) had requested an audience with me,I knew what it was all about,and of course I wasn't looking forward to his long nasiha(lecture) about the marriage I was forced into_well not literally.

I had only seen Ya Sagir only once.

'And it hurts to say according to our first meeting, he hadn't shown slightest interest in me.

I didn't care,after all,he was also dragged into it as much as I was,not like we can do anything about it.

For the past two months ,I had not been myself,I had no one to talk to,that was when I regretted not having much friends,my only closest friend since childhood was my cousin Zeezee .
how can I tell zainaba I don't like her brother? Or maybe say" hey zee your brother is all broody and stiff,I don't like him one bit,"

That doesn't sound cool at all.and as much as she likes me,she wouldn't want to hear her brother being talked about that way,considering the fact that she's very close to him.

Ummah being the typical Fulani mother would not discuss this sensitive issues with me.
and whenever I try to bring up the matter,either she stays mute or she would try to quickly bring up something else.

Growing up with her neutral love,it felt as though I was my own mother,I had no one to confide to_and it was at times like this I wished I had a female sibling.

Bashir too seems extremely excited and happy that I was going to get married to Ya Sagir.

The few friends I had were all my cousins,so basically nobody is going to be on my side since it was all the same family.the fact that my maternal side of the family were not living in the same state as us,did not help matters.

I wish I had more friends outside the family...ok
Not soo many,but a few more.
Ideally my mother was supposed to be my best friend,someone who i can talk to freely without fear of being judge,someone I can trust with all of my secrets.

but sadly and unfortunately for me,Ummah has that strong Fulani lame ideology where a mother is shy of her first child...and cannot have  deep conversation properly with her first child,yes I call it lame.

Some Fulani mother's even go to the extent of not calling their first child's name(because they are shy)...yes,unbelievably ridiculous,I mean who does that in this twenty-first century?

I felt my eyes getting damp with tears,and I tried to blink them back but failed as a tear strolled down by cheeks.
you have cried enough deejah.,I mentally tried to scold my self.
He probably is somewhere enjoying his life,presumably in his office or somewhere on an assignment caught up with work and doesn't even remember he has a bride-to-be..and here I am crying myself to sleep every night for the past two months.
Probably distressing myself for obviously nothing.my subconscious reminded me.