Heart Skips A Beat {ACM}

Chapter 58

Ally's POV

I was headed to the kitchen to get another drink when I heard a knock at the door. I wondered who it could be, thinking that it might be someone who was given the wrong address. I mindlessly opened the door, not recognizing the brown haired boy at my front door until I sunk back down to reality.

"W-what are you doing here?" I questioned, my eyes widening at the sight of him. He didn't look good, but I was sure I didn't look good either. I hadn't had a good night's sleep for what felt like weeks.

He chuckled nervously and stuffed his hands into his pockets; "Uh-I thought I'd bring you this," he replied, pulling a key from his pocket.

"Oh... well thanks," I said, reaching out to grab the key. Our eyes met for a split second and it sent chills down my spine. I began to shut the door but before I could, Austin put his foot in the way. I looked up at him, question in my eyes.

"Look... I.... I need to see you Ally, I think I'm going crazy without you," he mumbled as he stared at the ground. I wasn't shocked to hear his words at all, I was shocked that I actually opened the door for him to let him in.

"Sure... come in," I mumbled; "Don't mind my mess, I've kind of let the place go because I've been busy," I lied.

He stepped in, taking his shoes off in the process. I couldn't help but notice how different he seemed. He wasn't his usual bubbly self. He was quiet, speaking in a monotone voice, his face almost expressionless. But I knew that he had to be thinking the same about me, I couldn't even look past these dark circles if I tried.

He stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room, taking in the apartment for a moment before taking a deep breath in and taking in the scent of my apartment, he made his way into the kitchen, only to see empty bottles of beer and a row of shot cups, all filled and lined up for myself. I couldn't help but look down at my feet as he did so, I was embarrassed at the thought of him knowing that I'd been drowning my sorrows in liquor every day.

After looking over my mess for what seemed like hours, he looked up at me. I felt his eyes boring into me, but I couldn't seem to look into his eyes. I heard footsteps, coming closer and closer to me. Until they stopped. For a moment I wondered if he walked off but realized I was wrong as he tucked his finger under my chin, lifting my head up so that I'd look into his hazel eyes.

"What...have you.... Been doing... to yourself?" he choked as tears filled his eyes. I felt myself weaken at the sound of his voice why wasn't I mad at him?

I forced myself to look down once again. I couldn't look at him, not like this. He placed his hands on both sides of my face and lifted my head once again; "Answer me Ally!" he shouted. Tears filled my eyes and I felt myself weaken once more. I couldn't stop it this time.

"Let me go," I pleaded holding back my cries.

"Not until you tell me what the hell this is, what are you doing to yourself Ally!?" he questioned once again.

"Let me go," I stated once again.

"No Ally no I will NOT let you go until you tell me what the hell this is!" He shouted.

I couldn't help myself, I burst into a full on sob I felt myself weaken even more at the thought of him seeing me like this, but somehow I couldn't care; "I don't know!" I shouted; "It hurts, it all hurts everything just hurts, I don't want to deal with it all I can't!" I said through gritted teeth.

I pulled his hands away from my face and fell to my knees. I ran my hands through my hair, gripping them tightly with anger as more tears streamed down my face.

"You can't do this to yourself Ally you cannot let yourself fall into this hole, you're stronger than that!" Austin replied, crouching down beside me, he reached out a hand to touch me but I pushed it away. The pain was overwhelming, I couldn't do it anymore.

"You don't know what the hell this feels like Austin! " I shouted; "You-you can't help me with this you can't fix this, this is who I am, I'm a worthless no one!"

"No Ally you-"

"Go away Austin I don't want to talk about this! I need vodka that's all then I'll feel better, leave me alone!" I yelled.

Austin's POV

I was angry with her. But I was also pained. The look in her eyes when I saw her, drove me crazy. I wanted nothing more than to grab her and pull her into a hug. I wondered why things had to be the way they were. She looked hurt, confused, lost. And I couldn't blame her, after our breakup her life took a negative turn, but I didn't expect it to have this much of an impact. I knew I needed to fix this, and fast.

I watched as she sobbed, her hand running through her hair continuously as if she didn't know what to do with them. She wouldn't let me touch her, and I could barely get a word out. So the best thing I could do right now was sit beside her, in hopes that she would soon let me help her out.

She soon finished crying. Wiping her tears and looking at me once again. Her eyes were now puffy and red, I couldn't help but want to pull her into a hug even more.

"I'm sorry," she said, her eyes filling with tears once again that were daring to spill from her eyes; "I didn't expect everything to turn out like this."

"It's okay... I... I don't want to see you like this Ally, this isn't healthy, you're going to form an addiction, and that's if you haven't already. Let's put all this drama aside for right now and focus on getting you some help, it's what you need."

She shook her head rapidly; "I don't want help Austin, I'll be just fine," she replied.

I sighed heavily, remembering how stubborn she was; "I'll let this one pass, but I'm taking all of this alcohol right now and if I find a single drop here again we're going to get you help," I replied sternly.

"No-no please leave it. I need it," she whined, her eyes filling with despair.

"You don't need it, you want it, and drinking it like this isn't healthy, I'm not taking no as an answer," I said; "I'll be here every day to check on you, I don't care if we're together or not, I'll still be here and I'll still have your back, so don't think you need to let your anger out by drinking this shit, I'm here."

She eyed me for a moment before looking down; "whatever," she replied.

I couldn't go on without hugging her. I scooted closer to her and pulled her into a hug, she didn't deny it, and she didn't accept it. She just laid in my arms. I sighed, knowing that there was a lot more damage done than I was aware of.