Half Broken

Chapter 3

Half Broken by K. Jessica Ramirez

Chapter 3

My day goes by uneventful after my unusual but short talk with Mr. mysterious new guy. I do however manage to get through my entire school day without getting into any fights or ditching which has recently become a nasty habit of mine. I hurry off of campus and to my house knowing Paul and Alex will be home alone by now. Although I love my boys I know they'd burn the house to the ground just making cereal. With that in mind I quicken my pace. 

My mind wander towards the dark and depressed corner of mind or which I work hard to keep under lock and key because in that small lonely corner lives my only fear, regret, and despair. In that corner of my mind and only in that corner of my mind do I acknowledge that Liliana is dead. I constantly torture myself with the famous what if's like every other nut case in my situation. Without my consent I remember an old but treasured memory with my sister. One that both keeps me going and slowly kills me.

My father, if you could call the bastard that, runs into the living room like a literally asylum patient. His eyes are red but not like he was on drugs but as if he was so mad that he could kill. I watched him wordlessly as he screams throws things. He's screeching over and over 'She's cheated and now I will end her'. 

I didn't know it at the time but that night that bastard had attempted to murder my mother. That day all that ran through my mind was to calm my brother down and Liliana and I did. We calmed them down and as I was occupied with getting them to watch TV I noticed Liliana's absence. She had sneaked off to our room at the time and began to cry to herself. She's always been strong even when she didn't have to. You almost never saw her cry.

That night I held my younger sister in my arms and I tried my best to keep away her fears, and her desperation. That fearful night I promised her that no matter what happened we'd always have each other. 

I bring my dog tags out from beneath my shirt and read the word I've read a million times before as it's surface shines. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten. I broke the promise I made to her the night she died alone even when her older sister promised to never leave her behind. I hold back the tears that threatened spill. There is no space for tears in my life. Life has hardened me to point where tears may just make me go insane.

I finally make it to our small broken down house. You'd think someone with the connections I have would be living in luxury but that's the thing with the streets. Once your off them your better off dead because you've got nothing without the streets. The old leader of my ex gang use to tell, 'If your going to shoot you better shoot to kill because if any son of a bitch gets up he won't hesitate to kill you.' Ironic how the false sense of famil that the streets gives you turns on you once you've tried to leave.

I enter the house with my key walking automatically into the kitchen in search of something worthy of making for my brothers.I set up a simple soup and proceed to check the mail. Expensive bills from the Fire Department and hospital keep coming in and even If I won't admit it It's slowly terrifying me. I've stayed off the streets this long for the better of my family but if we can't cover these bills I will give up my new freedom for their debt free lives. 

"So how was school?" I questions straying away from the topic as I throw off my shoes.

"It was okay. They had us follow weird schedules. I  almost got lost." Paul informs sluggishly while watching the TV.

"What about you Alex?" I ask my younger brother giving him slight more attention then Paul. 

God knows he never gets any. The rest of us; Liliana, Paul, and I have had a moment in time where we're slightly spoiled, or as spoiled as you can be within a poor family, but Alex grew up never seeing happy times like the rest of us did.