Understanding

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They were shocked.

After Hinata left the gymnasium, everything got a little darker. No one spoke, surprise overtaking thought. Until the surprise wore off and a new emotion set in.

They were disappointed.

"You should leave Kageyama. Cool off a bit," Daichi whispered, his words still able to read Kageyama from across the gym.

Kageyama slowly nods. He slowly grabs his stuff and slowly makes his way to the door. Everything slow, too slow.

"And don't come back until you realize what you've done and how you need to fix it," Daichi whispered again.

Kageyama could feel the stares of his team weigh down on his back as he slowly nodded.

~~~~

As Kageyama makes his way home he doesn't feel the sunshine on his skin. He doesn't see the cars that drive past him. He doesn't hear the quiet rustling of wind.

He sees, hears, feels only pain.

He hears Hinata's gasp when he hit the floor over and over again. He sees the tears form in Hinata's terrified and confused eyes. He feels unimaginable pain when he remembers Hinata's back as he ran away only leaving tears behind him.

When he enters his house he stops. And slides down to the ground in the entryway, having no energy to walk to his bedroom.

Having no energy to do anything but sit.

Kageyama stared at his open hands in front of him. His hands that could have easily brought Hinata closer. But instead pushed him away. He closed his hands into fists and hit them against his head. All the while muttering.

"What have I done?"

Thunk.

"What have I done?"

Thunk.

Kageyama's hands kept on his head. Kageyama hoped that maybe if he hit himself hard enough, he'd forget today ever happened.

"What have I done?"

Thunk.

Kageyama felt the sobs erupt from him. Tears lightly falling from his eyelashes.

"Have I done?"

Thunk.

"I done?"

Thunk.

"Done, done, donedonedone?"

Thunk, thunk, thunkthunkthunk.

Kageyama's head was pounding. A headache roaring behind his ears, making it so hard to think. His closed fists turned to open handed palms that pressed hard at his forehead.

"Do."

"What should I do?" Kageyama whispered as his his headache grew stronger.

Because he thought and thought about what he should do. But nothing, absolutely nothing came to mind.

Until something did.

Kageyama raced out of his house. His feet pounded on the sidewalk like his brain pounded against his skull.

~~~~

"This was dumb. So dumb. Very dumb. I could still leave," Kageyama whispered over and over again as he got closer to his destination.

Kids looked up at the tall, very moody figure as he walked towards the gym that just got out of practice. Kageyama was very much regretting his actions.

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