Confrontation

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Hinata was screwed.

The day had became cooler. Kageyama stood there at the gate facing Hinata. His hair was lightly blowing in the wind. The sky had become pink as the sun slowly slipped behind the horizon. His hands were in his pockets, a cool look that made Hinata unbearably warm even in the chilly wind. He was so pretty.

Hinata was royally screwed.

Hinata's eyes eventually landed on Kageyama's. And he felt the nostalgic feeling of drowning as he gazed into beautiful blue eyes. He forced his eyes to the ground so he could catch his breath.

He finally walked toward Kageyama. He made sure he stayed more than an arms length away from him. He had the biggest urge to have physical contact with Kageyama after all this time, even if it was Kageyama hitting him, but that was selfish of him. Kageyama already did so much for him, he didn't want to ask him for more.

The silence between them was thick. Hinata could feel Kageyama's eyes on him, but he stared at the ground. He was about to speak when Kageyama whispered something that made Hinata want to laugh in spite of the pain he had in his chest.

"It's a beautiful day out, huh?"

All Hinata can do is nod, because Kageyama had no idea.

The thick silence came back.

And again both the boys spoke again. And again, Hinata allowed Kageyama to speak first.

"Oh. Sorry, you go first," Hinata said.

"I... Uh... *cough* thought you said that you were into... guys," Kageyama said, his words getting quieter the more he spoke, the last one a whisper.

And everything stopped in Hinata's mind, because that was the last thing he thought Kageyama was going to say.

"What."

"Y-Y-you know? That day?" Kageyama spluttered, immediately going bright red out of embarrassment. His hands were out of his pockets making gestures as he tried to remind Hinata of what happened that day.

And of course Hinata remembers. He remembers it spectacularly. The warm sun that had beaten down on them that day. The happiness he felt as he spiked Kageyama's tosses. The soft feel of Kageyama's hands as Kageyama gently dried his hair. He begins to smile as he remembers that simple summer day.

But the smile disappeared quickly.

"So I get rid of things I don't think are necessary to win," Kageyama said, his hands fiddling with his white t-shirt, " and so among the list of things I don't need to win are feelings, of the... romantic type."

"I lied to you. I'm not attracted to guys," Hinata artificially laughs as he takes a step to leave because he can't stay there any longer.

"What?" Kageyama says incredulously.

"I just said that because I was in love with a guy," Hinata said. And then he thought about what he said. He needed to get out fast. He can't control what he's saying anymore.

"Well! I'll see you tomorrow Kageyama! Good ni-" Hinata said as he started to walk away but was stopped by a pull on his hand.

"You were in love? Not anymore?" Kageyama whispered so sadly, so out of breath, so broken.

Hinata stopped. He didn't turn around. He knew he would break if he saw the face Kageyama was making right now. He could feel how cold Kageyama's hand was. He must have stood out there waiting for Hinata for so long.

Hinata could tell him. About his feelings. How much he yearns for Kageyama's hands on his head again. He could tell Kageyama how he loves him.

But then he remembers Kageyama's late night practices. He remembers jumping in order to catch glimpses of Kageyama's practices. He remembers the only lights being the moon and the gymnasium lights. He remembers pulling himself on the metal bars for minutes at a time, his arms getting sore, just so he can watch Kageyama.

Watch Kageyama work. Work so hard to become the best he could be. Work so hard so he could be a better player, a better setter, a better teammate. He watched Kageyama get so frustrated when he couldn't do something right. He would throw a ball so hard across the gym out of frustration and then he'd start pacing. Eventually he calmed down and he'd try again.

And when he got something right, his smile would be so warm and bright and proud. Those smiles were what kept Hinata warm as he walked home late those cold nights.

And he realizes that his feelings would be a burden. Kageyama was going to have the world as his rival. Kageyama was going to be apart of a team in which he would help people fly even higher than Hinata.

He didn't need Hinata weighing him down.

He didn't need Hinata.

And so he decided that for Kageyama's better interest he won't tell him. He's willing to break a million times over if it means that Kageyama can be the king he was always meant to be.

So Hinata slowly turns around, lightly grabs Kageyama's hand fisted in his jacket, and moves it back to Kageyama's side. He then looks into Kageyama's deadly eyes with determination.

"I was in love. I've moved on," Hinata states, his lips quivering as the lie slips through his teeth.

And before he could see Kageyama's shoulders slump, before he could see pain erupt into his blue eyes, before he could take back the damage he had done, he quickly left.

Leaving Kageyama beautifully alone.

Again.

                       ~~~~~~~~~~

I lied 😐😐

I did write another chapter before I was done with my homework.
YAAAYYY PROCRASTINATION.

Pls shoot me I hate summer homework.

Also. Hinata is demisexual in this.  👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

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