Limerence | A James & Lily Story

Waking Up

     "What are you doing back down here?" I ask, lifting my eyebrows in question. Lily will kill him if he's late; that, and Remus is never late.

     "Lily says there has been a schedule change," he pants, clutching his sides. "Meet her on the third floor."

     "When was there a schedule change?" I demand, throwing the paper down.

     "I don't know!" He shrieks, hands raised in innocence. "Just go!"

     I quickly jump off the bench and grab a roll, shoving it into my mouth as I make my way to the third floor. I run quickly, taking the stairs two at a time, trying to get to the third floor as fast as possible because the last thing I need is for Lily to get mad at me.

     When I finally reach the corridor, I feel the lurch in my stomach, all too familiar. Dammit. Why does she have to be so gorgeous? Lily is pacing up and down the width of the hall, hands on hips. She seems to be mumbling to herself, almost as if she is having an internal argument. At first glance, she looks angry, but this is different than her angry stance. She looks anxious about something, nervous even.

     "Hey, Evans, what's with the schedule change?" I demand as I get closer. She swiftly turns and smiles at me, a swooping in my stomach takes place.

     "Sorry, just thought it'd be fun to mess with your evening," she answers with a playful laugh. 

      "I had plans you know," I say, trying to keep my voice stern.

     "What plans?" she demands, putting her hands on her hips playfully. "I heard you and my favorite person in the world broke up."

      Shite. Wasn't expecting that. "Sirius told you didn't he?" I demand, narrowing my eyes.

     "Oh, you know, me and Sirius are like this," she mutters holding up my intertwined fingers. Dammit, Padfoot. So, that's where he was. Did he ever consider that maybe I wanted to tell her in my own time, so I could gauge her reaction? Not that it matters, I remind myself. Let it go.

     "Well, not everyone can have a steady relationship like you and McLaggen," I say, trying to keep my voice as light as possible; It hurts to say though. An ache is building in my chest just thinking about the two of them together.

     She closes her eyes and sets her jaw, as if she is annoyed. She takes a deep breath before letting her green eyes fly open to bore into mine. "Don't you pay attention, James?" She demands, sounding almost tired. Pay attention to what? What is she talking about? A panicking sensation is rising in my chest, clawing at my throat. Is she asking if I pay attention to the fact that she just wants to be friends? Is she finally tired of me? Is our friendship over?

      "I was with him because you were with Jenna. I was trying to make you jealous, you idiot. My feelings finally change for you, and you don't see it. Why don't you see it? Are you finally over me? Because if you are then the irony is just too much to handle. James, I fancy you. I really, really like you."

      My mind can't form a coherent thought because there is no way she just said those words. There is no way that Lily Evans just admitted she has feelings for me. This can't be right. And to top it off, she thinks my feelings have changed? Oh my god. 

     I've acted so distant this year because I thought I wold ruin our friendship. I thought I had pushed too far. My mind races back to everything over the past few months. Our patronuses. The scent in the potion she didn't want to tell me about. Storming off when Jenna was around. Snogging McLaggen after I snogged Jenna. The look in her eyes when I came into the common room looking like I just shagged Jenna. Oh, fuck me. She thinks my feelings have changed! They haven't changed! They haven't even wavered!