Limerence | A James & Lily Story

Jealousy

     The jealousy rises in my chest, clawing at my throat, and I find myself coming up with extra drills for McLaggen to do at our next quidditch practice. "You know, James," Jenna's words begin to get through to me. "Most guys want to and even enjoy snogging their girlfriends."

     I turn my back on the sight that is making my blood boil. "You're right," I mutter, as I grab her face in my hands and abruptly press my lips to hers. The kiss is hurried and sloppy, but I find myself not caring. 

     It's times like these when I kiss Jenna like this that I find the guilt gnawing at me like a persistent ache. I kiss her like this when I need to forget, when I want to feel something else. I want these feelings for Lily to go away, looking to feel something for somebody else. It never works, but I always try.

     After a few moments of kissing Jenna but longing for Lily, I slow the kiss and pull away. Jenna leans back, satisfied with getting her way, and sips her tea. I take a gulp of coffee, oblivious to the burning it brings to my throat, and pretend to be interested in the pink art work throughout the shop. A part of me prays that Jenna hasn't noticed Lily in the shop yet.

     When I finally allow my eyes to land on the redhead girl again, it's as if someone has removed all the air from my body. Lily's arms are locked around Draven's neck, and his hands are placed firmly on her waist. The kiss is not a small peck on the lips but a deep, prolonged kiss. He looks very happy to be kissing her, and she seems to be kissing him back with just as much enthusiasm.

     My hand tightens around my mug, causing coffee to slosh out and fall to my lap. I don't notice the burning sensation on my skin because I'm too busy feeling a jealousy so strong, I could kill Draven, or at least rip him away from Lily. Looking at them is causing me to be physically ill. I don't want to do anything stupid to make myself look even worse to Lily. She deserves to be with someone that makes her happy, even if it's not me.

     "Ready to go?" I ask gruffly, throwing down a few sickles for our drinks.

     "Sure," she answers with gleaming eyes. "We can find somewhere else to snog."

     I take her hand and begin to lead her from the tea shop, eager to leave this hell hole behind. "Oi! Potter!" You have got to be fucking kidding me. I lock my jaw and turn on my heal to make my way towards Draven and Lily, pulling Jenna with me.

      Lily has a smirk playing on her lips, and she looks somewhat triumphant. My stomach clenches with nausea. How long has she wanted to go out with him? I look away from her swollen lips because it's causing my muscles to jump. Jenna looks at me expectantly, and I realize I should say something.

     "McLaggen," I nod at my teammate that I could murder right now. I cut my eyes to Lily, barely able to look at her without feeling pain. "Evans." The words leave my mouth sharp and cold.

     "What are you up to, Potter?" Draven asks, nonchalantly wrapping his arm around Lily's shoulders. 

     My eyes lock on his hand on her shoulder; his tight grip causes a growling in my head. He did it without thinking, like he plans on doing it for a long time. "'Bout to meet up with everyone. Evans is coming. Why don't you come too, McLaggen?" I force the words to come from my mouth, praying they don't sound too harsh coming through my teeth.

     Draven looks to Lily and asks, "Want to stay here?" The way his eyes rake over her greedily causes bile to rise in my throat. How he looks at her like an object to be won has me fighting myself to stay where I am instead of lunging over the table and connecting my fist with his jaw. The idea causes a smirk to tug on my lips.

     "I told Sirius I was going," she says hastily, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "You don't have to go if you don't want to."

     "I'll go," he says smirking, staring at her already swollen lips. "Why don't we all walk together?"