Savannah's Smile

Chapter 25 Noah

Meeting up with Tamia is probably the stupidest thing I could do. I don't know why I'm here. She wanted to meet at the diner we used to sneak off to when we were dating. I hope she doesn't think bringing me here going to bring up old feelings. I've moved on. I am happy with Savannah.

"Hey, Noah! It's been a while. You still look as good as ever."

Tamia. She looked pretty good. She was always a beautiful girl. Her soft silky hair is flowing down her shoulders. Her golden brown skin was always glowing. She wearing a simple yellow spring dress. "You look good as well. How are you?"

"I'm good," she smiled. She was checking me out. She got that look in her eyes. I caught myself getting lost in her eyes. "So Noah are you going to hug me?" She asked with her arm stretched out.

"Um. Yeah." I quickly hugged her. This became awkward. I'm ready to leave and I just got here. I feel wrong. Probably because you didn't tell Savannah."Umm, I guess we should go sit down."

She giggled. "Are you nervous Noah" She had a flash of amusement in her eyes.

"Nervous? What? No. I'm not nervous. I'm just not sure if I made the right decision to come."I said honestly.

From amusement changed from her demeanor. "You know I am sorry about leaving without telling you. I knew you needed me when I left. I regret that decision every day. I came back to make things right." She grabbed my hand. I should of move it but I didn't. I looked from my hand to her face. "Noah I missed you. I miss everyone. Noah, I'm still in love with you. I don't think feelings like that can disappear."

I was stuck, I didn't know what to say so I stared at her lost for words. Wait no you have Savannah what are you doing? Savannah wouldn't leave you when you need her the most. Savannah wouldn't lie and cheat. I snatched my hand back from her. "No Tamia you left me when my brother almost killed my parents. You fucked Mark behind my back. And now that YOUR family isn't doing well you come running back to my arms."I was furious with her for playing with my emotions again. I let her toy with me again. "You don't love me you never did."

"Noah I'm trying to make this better."She said in a quiet tone. A voice she uses when she trying not to yell.

"There is nothing you can do. I don't want to be with you. Not lovers or friends. You killed any chance of a friendship just now. You still know how to play with my head."

"Play? This isn't a game to me. I was young and stupid. There is nothing I can say to justify what-"

"THEN DON'T." I barked full of rage. She jumped. "Leave me alone Tamia. Stay away from Mike and Britt too." I walked out leaving her before she tried to say more. I can't believe I thought she wanted to make amends. All she wanted was to pick up where we left off. I could never love her the way I once did. The way I feel about Savannah there is no comparison. So lost in my thoughts I failed to see Mike walking towards me.

"Yo Noah!" By his tone and his expression, he's pissed.

"Wassup Mike?"

"I should be asking you that question."He said with his eyebrow raised.

So I already lost my patience with this, "You wanna tell me what I'm being accused of?"

"Uh, yeah let's see having a coffee with an ex-girlfriend shouldn't lead to eye gazing and hand-holding witnessed by your current girlfriend whom you didn't tell you were meeting."

"My what? Savannah was here?" I said shocked but mostly confused. "It wasn't like that. Shit, did it look that bad? I don't want her. I'm in love with Savannah. I thought she wanted to make amends." I said honestly.

Mike stood with his arms folded for a while taking in what I said, he let out a sigh. "Well did you at least tell her about Savannah?" He stated still agitated.

"I never got the chance too. I was so mad at her for trying to get back together."

Mike raised his eyebrow. "Did you not get the chance? Or you just didn't mention it?"

"Mike not now," I said with the same tone of agitation. "Why do you think I'm going to fuck this up?"

"Because you doing such a great job." He stated full of sarcasm. "Look I care about Savannah, she has been like a little sister to me. I don't want to see her hurt. Or you for that matter. And you didn't just see the hurt on her face. You know she met Tamia?"

"How? This is all too much. Savannah was here and she already met Tamia."

"I don't know but she said she met her. It doesn't look good you need to go to her NOW."

I walked to my car. My thoughts are going crazy. What did Savannah see? Does she think I'm lying about Tamia? Is she going to break up with me? Most importantly. How did she know Tamia? Does Tamia know about Savannah and me and that's why she pulled that stunt? I can't believe she was there. Why didn't I just tell her who I was meeting? It makes everything look so bad. Walking to her door I noticed her dad's car wasn't in the driveway. My heart is beating faster and faster. Palms are sweating. I'm so nervous. I knock on the door. Savannah peeks out the window on the door. It took a while before she opened the door.

"What are you doing here? Weren't you on a date?" She said full of anger and sarcasm.

"I wasn't on a date Savannah. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I wasn't keeping it a secret from you or anything."

"Then why didn't you tell me?" Her voice was still laced with anger.

"I don't know why. I wanted to but the situation with Nicki. I just didn't want you to feel uncertain about us. I know what you seen looks bad, but you have to believe me when I say I don't want her. It wasn't like that at all."

"You sure Noah, because for a second there l couldn't tell. To me, it looks like you did feel something for her. The looks you were sharing weren't of disgust. It was much deeper Noah. So maybe you were blinded so long by your anger for her that you couldn't see how you felt, then I came along. Maybe you need time to figure out what you feel because Noah I can forgive you for not telling me about the meeting but the way you looked at her it was li- I don't think I could forgive that." This time I didn't see anger it was hurt and disappointment.

This was it. I fucked up. She didn't believe me. She was breaking up with me. "Savannah please don't do this. I was pleading with her. I don't want her. I don't love her."

"Noah, please go."She said voice trembling and her eyes brimmed with tears. "Don't make this harder than it has to be."She stepped back and closed the door. I couldn't move. My heart just feels like someone grabbed it and stomped it on the ground. It's no one fault but my own. I turned to walk away to my car and I saw Mr. Johnson.

"Hey, Noah! He smiled but it faded when he saw my face. Is everything okay?"

"No no, it's not. Savannah and I just broke up. And it's all my fault."

He frowned with concern. "I'm sorry to hear this Noah I am, but if you don't mind me asking what happened?"

I didn't mind. I don't know what makes me trust him so much. It might be Savannah and how he loves her. So I told him the story of what happened at the lunch with Tamia. I told him about Tamia and me. And about what just transpired in front of his house.

He let out a breath. "Noah my daughter is hurt. Maybe some of what Savannah said was right. You've been so mad at her, that you didn't give yourself time to heal from the hurt. I think you have some things you need to work out. Give her some space. And when she is ready to talk she will. Don't pressure her because it won't work. I like you, Noah. You're a good kid so I believe you didn't mean to hurt my daughter. I have to go talk to Savannah pretty sure she needs me right now." He smiled. "Take care of yourself, Noah."I sat on her step for 15 more minutes and finally got up suddenly feeling lost and guilty. Driving away I couldn't shake this ache in my chest.