Savannah's Smile

Chapter 10 Savannah

"Your test came back. It does look like you have Acute Chest Syndrome. We have drained the fluids out of your lungs and around your chest which was blocking your air passageway. You also had another blood transfusion. You were in an oxygen tank because we had to get oxygen inside you. But you breathing fine now. You will be staying overnight for a couple of days so we can monitor you and make sure no more fluids will build up. I also gave you a dose of pain medicine to help. I'll give you another dose in 2 hours so you can sleep comfortably. This was a big scare. We didn't have one of them since you were 12. You don't have to speak, I know you feeling quite sore"

I feel like someone knocked me on my head. My throat was too sore to speak at the moment. I hate having this disease. I hate not being in control of my body. I look over to my dad. He just had a small smile on his face, but he looked so tired. The tears started again. Out of everything I hate the most hurting my dad is number one. He doesn't deserve this. A sick child. He put his life on hold to make sure I lived mine.

He immediately got up from his chair to sit on my hospital bed. "Hey honey, no no - don't cry it's okay. Your okay. "He wiped my tears and kissed my forehead. "This is nothing we can't handle. We have been here before we'll get through it just like last time."

Dr. Jane came over to me. She's been my doctor since I was born. She pretty much saw Dad and I at our worst. This is nothing new to her.

"Your dad's right you are a strong girl I said it when I met you. You overcame so much. Savannah make sure you getting the proper sleep. Eating all the right meals. Your levels so I'm setting you up with an appointment with our hospital's nutritionist. The good news is that your infection wasn't severe so that great. A nurse will be in shortly to give you some antibiotics. Take them as directed." She smiled genuinely which I returned. "I'm going to get plans ready for your stay. I'll be back in a few to check on you."

"Dad? I'm so tired. I finally broke down." He just held me as I cried. I don't know how long I can do this. As long as I can remember I've been fighting my body and I lose every time.

"Honey, we going to get through this!"

I wanted to believe his words as much as he did. I just don't know if I'm going to be okay. "Daddy I'm scared".

"Honey I am too. But we can't let fear get the best of us. We are fighters so that's what we going to do fight! I don't want you thinking about quitting. You are so strong, baby girl."

"Okay, Daddy." I nodded he was right as usual.

"I love you, baby girl."

"Love you too Dad. Where's Noah? Is he okay?"

"He's fine just worried about you. He out there now waiting to hear that you okay."

"Can you get him? I want to tell him."

"Sweetheart you don't have to rush. You can take some time to digest."

"Digest what? Dad I'm sick will be for the rest of my life. I have been digesting that since I started to understand my disease."

"Okay, Sweetheart I'll go get him."

I'm usually a strong person, but it so much I can handle. Maybe I shouldn't tell him. I mean how long would it honestly take for him to move on? We just started dating. A knocking on the door stopped my thought. Looking at him takes my breath away. His green eyes looked tired and his curls looked ruffled as if he hadn't been constantly running his hands through them. The sight of him immediately brought a smile to my face.

"Hey!" He kisses me on my forehead.

"Hi!"

"I was so worried about you! How are you feeling?"His face is pulled in a concerning gaze.

My eyes water. Damn it I couldn't help it. "I'm so sorry Noah but we can't be together anymore. It's too painful. I can't watch you get hurt like this." The tears are just flowing. I can't control them. "I care about you. I don't want to go through this again!"

"Savannah what's going on? Stop telling me what is best for me. I'm here! Stop pushing me away. Just talk let me in okay?"

"I have Sickle Cell Anemia. I've had it since I was born. The tears come more and more. I've just been without any crisis for a year. We moved here because my doctor found a hospital with a great team who specializes in my disease it was time for a new start and our old home had too many bad memories. I know it sounds corny. My mom couldn't handle a sick child so she left when I was about three months right after they diagnosed me at 5. She couldn't handle my sickness! I chased my mother away. So I wanna end things before it chases you away too. I don't think I can handle that again."

Walking over to me Noah wipes the tears from my eyes. " Savannah I'm not your mom he looks into my eyes it's like he sees my soul. He wraps his arm around me and we just lay in the hospital bed. Knowing that this changes everything. Savannah you can trust me. I don't want to hurt you."

"You not mad?"

"Mad? Why would I be mad?"

"I don't know. I lied about my mom and then hid that I was sick. Noah, I need you to understand that I won't ever get better. I will be sick for the rest of my life."

He sighed. "No Van I'm not mad. I understand there are some things you don't want to talk about. Or don't know how to talk about it. We all have secrets. I get it seriously. Just don't keep anything from me anymore. I'm here with you I'm not going anywhere."