Under the Rainbow

Part 26

            “In the flesh.” She looked away as I blinked a few times.

            “Huh?” My intelligent response.

            “Long time no see.” She didn’t look back at me. Did she remember what happened 7 years ago? Obviously. She remembered me. “You’re pretty big now. Didn’t think I’d hear of you again. Then someone at school said your name. They said you became Leader over there. They also said something about the other guy and his boyfriend getting killed.”

            “My best friends.” I regained my composure and let my voice be colder than ice towards her. She couldn’t just start talking to me like we used to. Not after what happened. I’m not one to always hold grudges, but I trusted her. She had no right to act like we were buddies again.

            “I’m sorry.” She let her head lower. “I’m sorry Sam.” Her voice went quiet the second time. I knew that she was talking about something other than James and Ryan. She was talking about that day on the bridge. “I screwed up. I know. I was young, and you surprised me, and—”

            “You said they were wrong Danielle. Did you mean it? Did you mean it back then?” I asked, looking at her closely, afraid that she’d find a way to push me away again.

            “Yeah.”

            “Then why did you look like you were about to throw yourself to that phone?” I brought the drink to my lips as I tried to take a few breaths.

            “God dammit Sam! I don’t know! I was scared, okay? Is that what you wanted?” She looked up at me, meeting my eyes with a nervous, searching look.

            “We were best friends. You were there through thick and thin. Or maybe it was just thin. When it came to thick, I guess you weren’t up to par.” I looked at the bottle. Almost empty. I’d need more than this to get me through tonight.

            “Sam, it was 7 years ago! We were kids! If I’d told you—”

            “I would have been there. That’s what a best friend does. They’re there for you.” I finished the amber liquid with one gulp and stood up. “I’m going to the gas station for a six pack. Are you coming? Or flaking out on this conversation?”

            She stood up quickly and followed me down the street. “I’m sorry Sam.”

            “Don’t be. I’ve got a family. I think it was better I left then anyways. Wouldn’t want to ruin your perfect life.” I growled as I showed the ID once again and purchased the beer.

            She followed me back out and to the old movie theater where we could scream and shout all we wanted, or needed, without people knowing.

            “It’s not perfect Sam. God, why don’t you see that? Why do you think I was running? Or where was I running to? I was going to see you! Why can’t you see that?”

            “Because you’re the one who ditched me! I may have physically left, but you’re the one who couldn’t take it anymore. You’re the one who doesn’t get it. I looked up to you. Admired you. You’re the one who let me down. You were always the one with the talent, and the balls to stand up for people, and the one who knew that this place was wrong. Or was it a lie? Did you say that just to say it? Did you want to seem like you were better than everyone else?”

            “No Sam. I just wanted to be me.” She was quiet now that we were alone, avoiding my eyes as I grabbed a new beer and popped it open.

            “Right. What happened to that? You always said that you were going to move to the middle of nowhere in Florida with a bunch of land for animals you had saved and were going to have a pet wolf that you had since he was a young puppy and trained him to be a sweet thing. That was you. That’s what you wanted to be. Now you’re like them. You used to be who you wanted. Now, long hair, tight shirts, skinny jeans. You’ve changed into a copy.”

            “How do you remember all that stuff? That was from 7 years ago. Not even my parents remember that.” She grabbed a beer too, twisting the top off.

            “Guess it’s true what they say about your first crush. You’ll always remember them.” I kept my face blank and my voice expressionless as I looked up into the closed movie theater.

            She was silent for a moment. “That’s what I was?”

            “You were my best friend.” I answered.

            “Sam, stop with the screwing around. Give me a straight answer for once!”

            I smirked a little. “My answers are as straight as I am.”

            “Sam. I’m leaving this place. I’m going to The Forest.” Her voice faltered, giving her away to anyone listening. Giving herself away to me. How hard was it for her? Was it like it was for me? Was it like nails dragging over her heart? Hands clutching her neck to stop the words form coming? Like she was falling off a cliff, hoping I’d be there to catch her? I remember that feeling like it was yesterday. I remember that she wasn’t there to catch me either. In fact, she was running away from me.

            “How long have you known?” I wanted to know how long she had hid from everyone.

            “A while.”

            “You tell your parents?” I tried to simmer down, knowing what she was going through.

            “Yeah. Well, sort of. I left a note. They weren’t home, and I couldn’t face them.”

            I nodded. “Welcome to Hell, we have cupcakes.”

            She laughed a little, loosening up slightly. “Thanks for the info.”

            I remained tense and watched the sign on the movie theaters door swing in the breeze. “Full on or bi or trans or what?”

            “Lesbian.” She sat on the steps.

            “Well, I’d better get back now.” I said as I glanced at my watch.

            “Why?” She seemed hurt, like I was ditching her again. Like she didn’t want me to go.

            “Got to pick up some stuff and get out of my old place. Or change the locks. But, knowing Riley, she won’t leave until we talk about Jackie. Meaning I’ve got to move out.” I started walking back to my bike.

            “I saw you with her. At the fair. She really cheat on you with your ex?” She stood up and walked beside me, keeping her eyes on the road.

            “Yeah.” I signaled the end of the conversaeration by looking away and clenching my fists tightly.

            “Mind if I hitch a ride to The Forest?”

            “Everyone takes the journey there on their own.” I saw her shoulders sag. “But once you get there, you can stay with me for the night. Until we get your own place.” I didn’t want to turn her away. I couldn’t do that to her. Not when she needed me. That’s what friends are for.

            I gave her directions to my building and then pulled that helmet on and started the drive back home.