Agent Luna [Completed]

61.

She looks away from me and that's when I instantly realize that she is rethinking her worth. Something she's been doing too much of and it crushes my heart. I've never seen my mate so insecure and it upsets me. I want her back to her normal secure, careless self.

"I don't blame you, love. I want you to know that." I tell her honestly.

"I still don't understand how you can even like me after everything I've put you through." She mutters, climbing off of me.

I frown and follow after her. I feel her depression through the mate link along with anger.

How can she think these things about her? Doesn't she remember-doesn't she know how much I love her?

"Summer, love, come here, please." I call out softly.

I see her steps falter as her entire body tenses. I feel Carson cry out in pain as he senses her emotions much better than me.

She squares her shoulders and her left hand shakes. The same hand that sports the golden wedding ring I gave her in show of the love I have for her.

"Just give me a mintue to pack, then I'll be out of your hair. You won't have to see me again. You won't have to deal with my issues." She mutters.

I step forward and grip her arm gently before turning her to face me. Her tear stained face causes my heart to nearly stop for a moment. My entire body freezes as all her pain and suffering snaps through the matelink.

I catch fragments of her thoughts and most of her feelings. Her doubts and her disbelief.

"Why are you crying and why do you keep trying to dismiss me? I've told you so many times how much I love you. I love you so damn much, Summer. How many more times do I have to say it? I've been by your side when you were dying, when you were killing all sorts of creatures, when you made mistakes and when you lost control of everything. How much more do I have to do to show you how much I love you?" I blurt out. "I stuck by your side when I was warned that you would nearly kill me and when I was told that you were a cold-blooded killer. I still love you more than humanly possible."

"Good thing we are not human then." Carson murmurs in a sarcastic tone. "You should be happy to have a wolf."

Her eyes close and her head tilts down to make her hair shield her face from me. "I- my mind... I can't control them and they take control-" Her hands shake uncontrollably along with her entire body.

I pull her against my body and hold her close, my arms trapping her against my chest.

I feel her sigh before speaking quietly. "My shadows take control and fight my mind. I can't control them as much as you think. When you're gone, they take over and mess with my mind. It's like they want to see me become the most dangerous female in history. I can't help it. My already loose sanity is quickly disappearing faster than I can fix it and then these doubtful thoughts my shadows whisper at me don't fix it. They make me rethink everything I know about our relationship and everything I know about myself. They twist words and manipulate memories and I feel that they are only going to make it worse. I feel as if there isn't going to be an escape for me, Ty. They show me the way everyone sees me and that frightens me because I don't like the way people see me. They see me as a monster, a criminal, a threat. They tell me that no one can love a monster and that everyone hates criminals. They spew their serious little rants about threats being erased by people who don't want to deal with them. I don't want to like with their always depressing thoughts. It's beginning to take over and control me. They are gaining an advantage over me that I can't fight."

"Summer, the wedding ring on your finger is something I personally choose just for you. I made a big speech, embarrassing myself, in front of our pack just to tell you how much I love you. I am never going to get tired of saying how much I do love you but I am tired of seeing you upset. What happened to make my careless and loveable mate to become so insecure and how can I make it so that you never get these issues anymore? I want the woman I love to feel safe and happy, even if it costs me everything. I want to help at all costs to get them to realize that you control them not the other way around. I want to make them realize that what everyone else sees isn't what I see. I see a loving, caring mate who does everything she can to protect the only escapes she loves. No matter what."

Her arms wrap around me in a vice like grip while her face is presses against my shoulder. I feel her tears beginning to get my shirt wet before I really try to comfort her. My heart aches at the sound of her crying and the feeling of tears coming from the one thing I love more than anything else.

"It's okay, love. Please don't cry. It hurts hearing the tears and knowing I'm the cause." I whisper out, kissing the top of her head. I rock us side to side slowly while rubbing her back.

Her hand grips the back of my shirt tightly while she leans back slightly, lifting her chin to look at my pain filled face.

Her blue eyes hold sadness. Before she can react, I lean forward and kiss her on the nose and then the lips. She immediately responds and her eyes close. Her hands move from the back of my shirt to grip onto the front.

I try to put as much passion as I can into the kiss to tell her exactly how I feel just to make sure she understands the extent of how much I love her.

She pulls away to breath but my lips trail from her lips, across and down her jaw to the mark on her neck.

"I wanted this-" I kiss the mark making her gasp. "Here just to show everyone that you are mine only and mine to love. You did the same thing to me and I wear it proudly. I proudly show off that I am yours and yours alone. That my mate isn't a monster and that I love her deeply. Please, love, just tell me one thing."

She pulls away from me but stays in arms reach. My wolf cries out in pain at the rejection but I stay in place. Her blue eyes are wide and frightful.

Does she think I'm going to make her leave? I would never do that to her. There's nothing wrong with her. She just has an issue with her Shadows is all and I'm going to do everything in my power to try and fix it. That's if she wants the help. I just don't like her pulling away from me. It doesn't help me at all.

"What do you want to know? You know everything." She mutters.

I see the golden ring catch in the light and she seems to forget that it's there. Almost as if she's so consciously aware, her mind doesn't recognize it. I know the ring on my finger is a comforting weight and mines twice as heavy as hers.

"It honestly sound like a symbol of your guys love." Carson mutters. "You love her twice as much as she loves you."

"Bullshit. She lives me as much as I love her. There is no comparison, you dipshit. If anything she should have the heavier ring. She has a larger impact on the wolves than me and she holds a more morally wrong job than me."

"Whatever, loser."

The two things in the human world that hold the meaning that I want her to always remember even when her Shadows are telling her otherwise. The two golden rings.

"Do you love me?"