laugh often // larry stylinson {BOOK ONE}

chapter nine

Smut (;

   I let Louis let it all out, I didn't say a word, didn't move a muscle. Louis expressed the silent sobs he seemed to have been holding in for years. He subconsciously moved closer to me where we sat on his mattress, and I "subconsciously" placed my arms around him.

  It felt right. 

Should it feel so right?

  My mind went elsewhere as Louis cradled me, the silent whimpered escaping his mouth. I thought about my sexuality, and what would happen if I came out openly as bisexual. I bit my lip as Louis' sobs turned to heavy breathing, and then went silent. 

  I didn't think anything would really happen, but I didn't want to lose Louis, if coming out involved that, then I wouldn't. What if he thought it was a sin or something? What if he got disgusted by the sight of me, and never wanted to see me again? 

  I shuddered just thinking about it. 

  I came back to reality just as Louis was pulling himself off of the floor, and into a standing position. I gave him a questioning look. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for." He whispered, looking towards the ground.

  I stood up, and towered over him, yet his eyes didn't leave the wooden tiles. "Louis, you have no reason to apologize. It's a wonder you've walked around this long without letting it all out," his frown faltered, turning into half a smile, "hey," I put my finger under his chin, and pulled it up towards my face. We were inches apart again, and my heart dropped to the floor and into my feet, "don't apologize, okay?" I smiled, and his returned one was ground crushing, heart stopping. I almost didn't reach back down for my heart, it was too far now.

   It was soaring above the house, above the streets, above the clouds, above everything. It soared around Louis, and that was it. 

  His eyes were like the bluest of oceans, yet green pushed its way through towards the middle and stood out among all. I smiled as I gazed into his eyes, and his eyes trailed along my face down to my lips where the smile lay. 

  "Is there something funny?" He questioned, and I chuckled, shaking my head, un-looking from his eyes. "No, it's just you have really nice eyes." 

 "Thank you.. I never get told something like that." He murmured, blushing and breaking the gaze.

  I broke away from his face, and looked around at his bare arms, the tattoos really stood out, but they were almost invisible to me now, all I saw was Louis.

  I gazed back up, happy to be looking at his face again, and gathered my strength to look at his pierces, saving the eyebrow one for last, so I could have a reason to look back into his eyes.

  "They see what's on the outside, but they don't look hard enough. They miss the beauty." I whispered, his cheeks flushed a bright red again, but he didn't look away from my eyes this time.

  "Your eyes are very green, and very beautiful." It was my turn to burn. My face felt hot, but I kept my eyes on his, "Thank you, Tomlinson." I winked, and his eyes faltered, hiding a smile. 

  We were inches apart, closer than I've ever been to someone in a long time, my heart stuttered, and my body tried to move, but my heart kept me where I stood, like it was the right path, it was where I'm supposed to be at this very moment.

   I could feel his breath on my neck, with every breath he took, my heart sped up a little faster. My eyes traveled down his face, towards his lips, but seconds later they were on his eyes again. I saw his eyes flash, like they were doing the same thing mine were.