Alex's experience.

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***ALEX***

It was a couple hours after I woke up. I had some food, some pie, (Dean's insistence) and some water. I was able to cross my legs now. Still couldn't walk on it. Sam said it was better that way. So it didn't start bleeding again. I was taking a shit ton of pain meds like aleve and such. It was coming onto nighttime when Dean brought up the bed situation. Sam gave the Idea that he would sleep on the couch and keep an ear out for me while Dean slept beside me on the other bed. I nodded and laid down because there was nothing else i really could do. 

Sam pulled the blankets over me and I fell asleep. Looking at dean. Then, the nightmares started. I saw a little girl standing beside Dean. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. I recognized the place I was at. She let go of Dean's hand and ran towards me. She grabbed my hand after I pulled the trigger. I fell to the ground and she stood there shaking. She opened her mouth and I sat upright in bed. Sam looked like he was trying to keep an eye on me but lost the battle with sleep. I got up and walked to the bathroom limping on my leg. I rubbed cold water on my face before looking up. 

I walked back and sat down. I stared at my feet and then looked up as I heard Sam shift in the couch. He opened his eyes and saw me sitting up. "Alex, you okay?" He rubbed his eyes and walked over. He sat next to me and slung an arm around me. "You can tell me anything, and if you want I can tell Dean too." 

I looked up at him and sighed. "Wake up Dean." He nodded and walked over to his brother while I stood up and walked to the couch with a limp. I sat down and stuck my leg out. Dean woke up and sat next to me. "The Jinni attack," I sighed and looked at the both of them. "I imagined that Dean and I were married, Jess never died... My father... alive, and... And Dean and I, had this kid. The most adorable kid ever. She had your eyes and my hair, and this feel about her. This, spunk about her that reminded me of you." I told them and closed my eyes. "When I woke up, I had to kill myself, Dean like you've told me before. You ran into the building, and so did she." I looked over at him and his face fell with realization of what I had to do. "She watched me blow my brains into pieces Dean."

He leaned back and ran a hand through his hair. Sam leaned back and let out any breath he was holding. "Shit..." They said together. I nodded. 

"Sam more gauze please?" I ask and he gets up grabbing some more. I unwrap the blood soaked one and wrap the new one around the bullet hole. It wasn't pretty. the bullet got stuck in the bone and Dean or Sam had to pull it out. But as all of my other wounds have, it would heal with time. Dean picked me up and laid my back in bed and covered me up. He kissed my head and then laid back down in the bed beside me. Sam laid back down on the couch and I fell back asleep. 

The nightmares returned. 

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