Lydia

[13]

WARNING*- Mature content, including vulgar language, talks/ attempts of suicide, and trigger themes.

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Finn awoke with a sudden jolt, jumping to a sitting position before continuing to take long, panicky, and deep breaths. Sweat trailed down his forehead as he breathed in and out.  The cool air slowly circulating passed his swollen lips as he gradually took in his surroundings.

He looked around to notice the place he had woken up in wasn't his bedroom.  It was darkness. Pure and cold darkness. Silence surrounded him with the faint smell of alcohol floating through the air.

Finn's eyes widened, post traumatic stress consumed his mind slowly and fear piled at the back of his throat in tons. Finn frantically scanned his surroundings looking for the man that haunted his world.

But he saw nothing.  Darkness mixed with cruel silence caused Finn to feel uneasy and slightly on edge.

He knew he was dreaming, because this was how they all started. 

But for some reason it felt real.  And every morning Finn expected to wake up with bruises on his arms and scars littering his face.

Finn reminded himself to calm down, but it only made his breathing heavier and his heart pound faster. Finn's breath came out fast and choppy, the world was slowly closing in on him and it felt as if the darkness was consuming him bit by bit.

"Finn," a voice whispered through the darkness.  He jerked his head upwards trying so desperately to find the source of the low and scraggy voice that echoed through the air, but nothing came, nothing at all.

Although Finn could not see the face that matched the haunting voice, he knew it all too well and worst of all, he knew what came next.

"Finn!" The voice suddenly yelled through the darkness cutting the silence like a butcher knife.

It was low, rough, and the words that echoed were slurred and loud.

Finn forcefully grabbed his ears, screwing his eyes shut.  He pushed his hands flat against his head forcefully attempting to preventing any noise to seep through his ears.

"Finn!" The voice bellowed as it rang through Finn's head.

"Finn!" It felt as if his head was on fire as he clenched his jaw and shut his eyes tighter than before.

"You're worthless," tears trailed down Finn's cheeks, his eyes turned red shot with blood.

"You're a worthless piece of shit!" The words slurred, ringing through the air.

"You killed your own mother." Finn choked on a sob refusing to believe he was the cause of his mother's death.

Finn wanted it to be over, he wanted so badly to wake up from this nightmare.  But how could it possibly be a nightmare when it felt so fucking real.

So, Finn suddenly seized his actions.  He stared into the darkness ahead, the voice booming through the air.  His hands dropped to his side as the voice floated through ears and dominating his mind. 

"You're worthless

Worthless piece of shit

Listen to me!

You killed your mother