Lydia

[00]

Reader Discretion is advised! WARNING- this novel contains vulgar language, talks/attempts of suicide, domestic abuse, and trigger themes! And please if you or a friend/family member is going through depression, abuse, or has thoughts of suicide please get help.  Suicide is not the right answer there is always another way.  Suicide is not the answer! This novel explains other ways of getting help and that suicide is not the answer.  Granted, this novel is the not the best tool in finding other ways to get help because I'm not the greatest writer, but my point is suicide is not the answer!

This chapter is a submission to #FreeYourShorts contest!  It is under the category of YoungAdult! Hope you like it!

~•~•~•~

"Your eyes are lined in pain
Black tears don't hide in rain"

~•~•~•~

A single tear trailed down Finn's swollen cheek as he lifted the cool metal towards end of his hair line. Goosebumps involuntarily rising on the surface of his skin at the contact of the silver to his head. Small clicking within the barrel made Finn's flinch, fear still buried deep within his mind. A slow grin spread across his lip, knowing he'd be free, finally, free from the life that he didn't deserve. 

He deserved better, but deep down Finn wasn't too sure that was true anymore.

He had been trained to think that he deserved the worst, trained to believe that he was as low as the dirt beneath his feet and he couldn't take it anymore.

All he ever wanted was to be free of the life that gave him nightmares every time he fell asleep.

Free from the life that sucked the air from within his lungs, only to leave just enough for him to live but struggle to breathe.

Free from the life that made him feel like he was constantly drowning in the false smiles of the supposed 'loved ones' around him. 

Free from his tormentors, his demons, his fears.  He wanted to rid the sins that soaked his body from head to toe.

He was determined he was to end up in hell, but how could that be when he was already in it. 

Finn knew he wasn't strong, and that no body cared. He was coward and suddenly he didn't care either.

If he left no one would know, and no one would stop to look.

He wouldn't even get a goodbye, he'd be lucky if his father even glanced at the footprints he left within the sand of his house. 

He squeezed his eyes shut as the metal between his fingers began to shake.  His hands shook violently, trembling as if wanting to be put out of its misery. 

Finn thought of how pathetic he was to not even be able to pull his finger back.  To rid his mind of thoughts, to rid his body of life.

Finn set down the small handgun to look at his trembling hands.  Bruises covered his arms and legs, glancing down at himself and realized that no one would want him.  No one would want a broken boy like him, not even his own parents. 

Nothing brought him joy in this world, he thought as he searched through his mind to find one thing that made him smile.  Nothing came to his mind.  Until one single face floated through his thoughts making a weak smile spread across his face. 

Lydia.

Lydia Quinn was the only thing, the only one who brought him joy.

He smiled thinking of the years they spent together as friends.  Playing in the sand as children to studying together in library as teenagers.  Every moment spent together brought a smile to his face.