Despair

ten

❝  i'm addicted, something like an addict  ❞

*     *     *

"justin, just because you can ignore my phone call doesn't mean you can ignore me. what is going on with you and selena gomez? you guys are the headliners for nearly a week now. i can clear it up, saying its true or not," justin's manger, scooter braun, continues on speaking until he realised justin never really payed attention. scooter stays quiet, waiting for justin to notice that he had stopped. but justin never did. "justin," scooter says, sighing a distressed sigh.

"mhm," he hums in response, making eye-contact with scooter. he becomes alert that scooter had stopped rambling on. "yeah, sure."

"so, it's true?" scooter tries to test justin. he knew justin wouldn't succeed. justin was wearing his favourite pair of sunglasses, covering his red, puffy eyes.

justin became widely aware that scooter was testing him. "yeah. whatever you say."

"what did i say, exactly?" justin stares into scooters eyes – though scooter couldn't tell – looking for a sort of answer.

"old age making you forget, bud?" justin laughs awkwardly at his so-called joke.

scooter rolls his eyes, giving off another sigh. "i need you to focus. you're reputation is on the line." but justin heard it all before. be careful how you speak to fans, what you say to the media and social media, don't pee in buckets, and just generally don't be yourself. alright, the last one justin made up, but they had implied it when everyone went crazy with justin peeing. he hadn't understood the trouble or commotion everyone was making.

"just leave it, scooter! i've always got to have a say when there's a new headline about me. but it's not only about me, it's about selena gomez, too. and, no, we're not dating." justin's skin was beginning to burn up with anger.

"fair enough," scooter replies stubbornly. the noise of scooter's phone went off, his ringtone blaring. picking up the phone, answering it, scooter begins chattering away, holding up his index finger to justin, indicating to wait. however, justin did the unusual thing, and walked out. he loved scooter, but he just couldn't stand to be around him today.

*     *     *

feeling numb once again, selena bites into her vegetarian pizza, but just to place it back into the box after, her taste buds failing her. deciding to just throw away the whole box full of pizza, she goes back into her bedroom, shutting the door after walking past the threshold. she wanted to just be left alone while she had the chance to, but life wasn't on her side – like any other day. her phone began to ring, the caller id showing up as ava. it was the record label. ava was a sweet, kind lady that works for the label. ava originally was from south america, inheriting her dark skin from her mums side than her dads.

"hey," i say over the line once answering the call from ava.

"hi, selena. how are you?"

there's that question again, selena thought, but continued playing her act. "great, great. thank you for asking. what about you?"

"i'm good, too." moment of silence. "has john already told you about the label?" and here we go, the bad news rolling up in their brand new car – selena chuckles at the sight of bad news becoming a person, their elbows coming out of their rolled-down window of their brand new car, sunglasses peached on their nose.

"no. i haven't spoken to him since he said the label might drop me. this isn't more bad news, is it?" of course, selena answered her own question. the only time ava had called selena was either to tell selena her studio appointment and for bad news. johnny, who was another person who works at the label, normally gives out the good news, sometimes bad if needed.

"i'm afraid so. maybe we should meet up?" ava offers.

"no, not today. could you just tell me now? i am a little busy," selena lies as she gets comfortable underneath her covers.

"if you say so. the label, and everyone between who had high enough command, have had a meeting about keeping you on or not, like johnny had told you before. we came to a conclusion, that since you haven't been coming into the studio and we do need that album out, we decided as you don't have the dedication to make the second album like you did with the first, we'll be dropping you." ava's voice which selena adored had lost its sound, but she could hear the murmuring over the line, like ava was still talking but selena had just lost senses to her hearing. " – have connections with other recording labels such as us and we could recommend you, or them to you," selena heard, her hearing going back to normal.

"yes, please. could you do both? send me the links you have connections with over email," selena spoke nonchalantly, but she was frightened on the inside. this could possibly the end of her career if selena doesn't find another label to sign her.

after ending the phone call with the company, no longer belonging to them, she automatically went onto twitter, straight going onto the direct messages and onto the chat with the person she only wanted to talk to. justin bieber.

(1) selenagomez
i'm sorry for being a bitch

she was apologising for her harmful words yesterday. 'you're broken just as much as i am, you can't help me.'

(2) justinbieber
it's okay

so what's up?

a wave of relief went over selena, she didn't need to explain herself to him as to why she texted him.

(2) selenagomez
you know, the usual.

including the record label breaking it off with me

(3) justinbieber
what!

you're kidding!

why would they cut you off?

(2) selenagomez
because i'm useless in their eyes now.

i don't blame them :/

(2) justinbieber
they're really missing out then

watch when you're new single goes to the top once you sign a new label. they'll be flabbergasted and ashamed they let someone like you go

justin's words weren't very comforting in selena's eyes. but she loved that she could read his anger through the texts.

(1) selenagomez
right

(2) justinbieber
i mean it, sel

i'll recommend some labels to you. in a week you'll be signed. i swear it.