As Long As You Love Me (Sequel To Waiting For You)

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

3 months later

          "Babe, you have to get out of bed." His voice breaks the silence of the room. I don't reply, I didn't want to. I wasn't going to listen. I lost both of them within a period of a month. I stay looking forward at the blank wall. A hand touches my shoulder. Usually his hands are warm and comforting but now they were a nuisance. I didn't want to be touched. I didn't need any affection. I had killed Kayla. I didn't put a seatbelt on her. 

           The bed sinks beneath Cody's weight. He was next to me now. "Shelby, I know you're hurt but this isn't the end. It's gonna' be okay." I snap my head to face him. How could he stay so calm? How could he say it was going to be okay. He wasn't the one that killed her. 

          "Cody, I killed her! She died because it was my fault not yours! This is so hard on me, don't you get that?" I stand up shouting, and storm off into the living room. All my emotions came back in a huge surge of energy. I hear Cody's feet pounding behind mine.

          "Hang on, Shelby! How can you say that I don't understand that? She was my daughter too! She was ours. So was the baby! You don't think that this is tearing my heart apart?"

          I spin around on the heel of my foot, fury raging in me. His eyes are ablaze with anger. Cody's blonde hair is touseled from his rage. "Well, you sure as hell aren't acting like it!" I scream back. His jaw clenches. He was pissed. 

          "Because I'm not crying, you don't think I care? Shelby, this is the hardest thing I've ever been through. I'm not handling it like you do. You've just closed everyone off! Me, Gisela, Nicole, Alli, all of us! How do you expect to get over this if you don't talk to us? I'm not reacting like you because I talked to Nicole about it for two weeks after the accident!" 

          "Nicole? Why do you go to her and not me, I'm your wife!"

          "My wife was too busy ignoring me. In fact, this is the first time you've talked to me in two months. You went crazy, Shelby. You've lost yourself. I mean, look at you." He steps towards me, grabbing my short hair. I had chopped it all off. I was tired at looking at my reflection in the mirror. The reflection of a killer. So, I cut my hair to my shoulders and dyed it blonde. I thought it would change things, but it was still me and I couldn't live with that guilt.

            I had also lost a lot of weight. I stopped eating. Food wasn't a necessity anymore. My clothes don't even fit me anymore. I've been to lazy and tired to go out and buy more. Part of it is the last thing I did with her is go to the store. I won't be able to face that. I would never tell Cody this. 

           "I want the real Shelby back. The one whose laughing all the time. The beautiful girl whose smile can light up a whole room. I miss you. I've already lost Kayla, and our baby. I will not lose you too Shelby. I refuse to." His eyes shine with tears. One escapes and falls down his face. Out of habit, I wipe it away. I had forgotten how soft and warm he was. When was the last time I kissed him? Too long.

           "I love you, please, come back to me baby. I need you with me. Remember our vows? We said through better and worse times. Well, this is worse and I want to make it through this with you. I only want you. I want to be with you through everything and only you. We will get over this! I promise you that."

          Cody cups my face inbetween his hands, looking me in my eyes. His orbs burn heavily into mine. How could I have done this to him? I hurt him. Without a word, I lean in and kiss him. He's startled by it at first but then, he quickly gets into it. I had missed this. I missed him. Tears begin to flow from my eyes. I had lost everything, but him. I still had Cody. That's all that mattered right now.

            No matter what we went through we had each other.  For better and for worse.