Once Again

13

Cas walked down the steps of the bunker to Dean.
He had his back turned to the staircase but he could probably hear him anyways.

He moved from step to step in a normalish, slow pace, careful not to put much weight on his now cramped up leg. Great.
When he got down to the floor he entered the dining room/library where the boys would both work on cases together or sit around and eat or drink beer together. It was the most used room in the whole bunker.

Cas cleared his throat, making Dean spin around in his chair.

His eyes lit up when he saw Castiel standing there. He smiled a honest smile and quickly shut the laptop and slammed the book shut, not wanting Cas to see what he was up to but not knowing Cas already knew either.

He stood up awkwardly.

"Cas! Look at you man you're standing up" Dean finally said, his voice a little shaky with nerves.

"Yep, I am walking and talking aren't I? Thanks for cleaning me up. I.. I really appreciate it Dean."

When Cas said Dean's name his heart always beated faster. It was just the way he said it - it wasn't like the way Sam does or anybody else.
He couldn't put his finger on what it was that made it so special but then again he didn't really want to. Did it really matter anyways?

Dean brought Cas into a hug, missing his embrace so much when he had been up in heaven. Cas hugged him back tighter. They stayed like that for a while before Cas broke the hug up suddenly.

"Hey hey, what's wrong Cas?"

"Nothing.. I just... I just have to go Dean" Cas blurted out, keeping his eyes looking anywhere but Dean.

"Go where?" Dean shot back, confused and wanting answers.

"Anywhere. I can't - I can't stay here anymore" Cas stammered.

"You've only been here for one day Cas! Where are you going to go? Come on, don't be so reckless! You're not even properly healed yet!"

"I still have to go Dean."

"But why?"

"You don't want to know, trust me on this. It really doesn't matter."

"Cas please! Don't you dare leave me again" Dean begged, eyes wide and expectant.

But it was all in vain, Cas had already spread his wings and flew. He was gone.

Dean stood there in disbelief, not really believing Cas was gone. He had to be still there right? He probably was in his bedroom or something, he couldn't just leave! Not like that right?
So Dean searched the bunker, not surprised but rather disappointed when he ended up not finding him afterall.
He ended up eventually sleeping at 5 in the morning; heavily drunk, incredibly sad and lonely.

Cas meanwhile was on a park bench, feeding birds and ducks. It usually helped him when things weren't going to plan but not today.
He took pleasure in seeing the birds and ducks squabbling over a stale piece of bread.

Eventually, Cas decided to take a walk to try clear his head.
The strong autumn wind blew harshly in his face, trying desperately to mess up his hair again as he walked through the park at 5 in the morning.
He was surprised to see a few early-morning joggers shooting past him.
His mind was elsewhere though; focusing on Dean completely. He couldn't get him out of his mind.
Obviously his plan to clear his head wasn't going too well.

He knew he had to stop thinking ahout him, get him out of his head. Otherwise he could end up doing something really stupid that he'd end up regretting - like getting them both killed for instance.