Once Again

10

Dean stayed in bed day after day for a full week.
He barely ate anything and as a result lost a sickly amount of weight. He barely came out of his room unless it was to use the bathroom or get a beer or two or three (Sam had now lost count of how many he usually took).
He didn't sleep much either, the time he was supposed to be sleeping was spent hour after hour online, researching stuff on ways he could bring Cas back.
He spent countless of hours each day praying his ass off, begging for an angel up in heaven to hear his prayers and to bring him back safely. He just wanted to hear news of him - anything was better than nothing.

Sam prayed too. Mostly for Cas to come back but often for Dean. He was beyond worried about his brother at this stage.

He tried that whole week to try and get Dean out of his 'funk' but each time Dean insisted he was "fine" and that he "just needed some time alone".

Sam argued that no amount of research would help him find what he's looking for. That there's nothing out there on how to bust an angel out of heaven.

That's when Dean lost it and begged Sam to at least try and help, he told Sam just how badly he needed Cas and Sam nodded and said he understood.

He tried to tell him that he was worried about him and that this isn't the way he should live his life, but Dean was beyond hearing after Sam agreed to help.

Together, they spent about three days looking for a way to get Cas back but to no avail. They had squat.

Sam finally got Dean to give up on the fourth day, which unfortunately lead to Dean hiding out in his room for the rest of the week.

~~ So that was two weeks without Cas and counting so far ~~

Sam hated seeing his brother like this, but what made it worse was knowing there was nothing he could do to help. What Dean wanted was Cas, and not even he could grant that desire.

Three weeks after Cas had left, Dean came downstairs in the morning. What was different to this time than the others was that Dean had obviously showered, put on clean clothes, possibly brushed his teeth and wasn't tear stained or had pink eyes.

"Hey Sam" he said, yawning a little.
His voice didn't sound hurt or aching or bored. It sounded like Dean and God had Sam really missed hearing that.
"Dean! Hey! How are you doing?" Sam greeted, with obvious enthusiasm.
"I'm fine Sammy, I'm fine. You know I figured staying up in my room sulking all day won't change anything. I have to keep going right?"
"Right" Sam agreed, glad that Dean could finally see that.
"So, how have you been Sam? Busy with Jay right?" Dean teased, seeing it as the only thing he could say that could bring the focus off of him for a minute.
"We're ... we're eh not together anymore" Sam confessed, uncomfortably and blushing shyly.
Dean looked a little shocked but didn't joke about it like he usually did.
"Since when?" he asked, genuinely wanting to know.
"Like three weeks ago" Sam answered.
Dean didn't try to ask why he didn't know about this sooner, he already knew the reason.
He asked Sam again if he was okay once again and Sam said he was.
Fast forward to two hours later and Dean comes back with a hunt.
"Wait what.. You want to go on a hunt Dean? Are you sure?"
"We were out for a couple of weeks Sam. Don't you think that was enough?"
"You mean you were out for two weeks."
"Wait what? You went hunting without me?"
"You refused to come out of your room. What was I supposed to do? Sit around waiting for you to come to? You probably didn't even realise I was gone did you?"

Dean shrugged but he knew that Sam was right, he didn't even notice his brother wasn't at home.
He was so stuck in his old world, broken hearted and in pain he wasn't taking much notice of what was happening around him.

"So? What do you think? Are you in or not?"
Sam was about to say how he didn't think Dean was ready when the lights started to flicker.

Dean looked at Sam and Sam looked at Dean's hopeful face. They came closer together and Sam took a gun out of his back jean's pocket. A mini earthquake occured then and the next thing they knew - they saw him.

They saw him with his messed up hair and perfect trenchcoat. He looked something exhausted and was harshly beaten to a bloody pulp. Everywhere on him seemed soaked with red.
Blood... everywhere. As happy as Dean was to see him, he wasn't happy to see him as he was. He was in fact the complete opposite.
Sam put the gun away effortlessly just as the angel collapsed on the floor in a messy heap.
Standing up for that minute alone was probably far too much for Castiel.