Once Again

12

Needless to say the boys didn't go on that hunt that day. Infact, they both unintentionally forgot about it.
They fixed their minds to more greater things or rather Dean did while Sam helped in whatever way possible.
They researched for hours upon hours that day alone. It was only an hour before midnight that Sam stopped Dean from going further.

"We've been at this all day man, let's just call it a night" he urged, yawning loudly while stretching.

"No no, you go sleep. I think - I think I'm on to something here Sammy."

"Right. But you know Dean the important thing right now is that we have him back. Don't get carried away with this revenge thing. You know as much as I do how much it'll kill you inside" Sam warned Dean, regretting ever agreeing to helping in the first place.

"Yeah yeah" Dean dismissed, waving his hand around..

"I'm going to go check on Cas then okay?"
No answer.

Sam sighed but started climbing up the steps to Dean's room. He wasn't lying - he was there to check on Cas but to warn him about what his boyfriend was plotting downstsirs too. It seemed like a smart idea.

Sam knocked on the wooden door, not wanting to walk in on anything.
When he heard a barely audible sound (possiblu coming from Cas?) he opened the bedroom door slowly.
He peaked his head when it was mid open.

He was greeted by the sight of Cas starting to sit up on the bed, propping the pillow behind him. Sam felt bad as he had obviously woke him up.

"Hey Cas" he greeted warmly, opening the door fully and stepping inside, "how are you doing?"

"I'm.. I'm fine Sam and eh you?"

Sam took it in that he was actually talking, clearly shocked but trying hard not to show it on his face.

"I'm fine I guess. Dean's eh downstairs if you want I could get him? He could come up and-"
"No."
"No?"
"Yes, no."
"Wait what? What are you saying 'no' to Cas?"
"I don't want you to bring Dean up here. And you didn't wake me up. I've been up for a few hours, thinking things through."

Sam wondered if Cas had read his thoughts (how else would he have known??) but didn't enquire about it.

Sam shut the door without being asked as he felt something coming up and didn't want Dean to hear it - whatever 'it' was.

"I've something to tell you Sam."

Sam walked over to Cas, sitting at the end of his brother's bed.
It was soft and had a regular, black and white duvet cover just like his did. They never really went out to buy home furniture equipment, just dealt with what they barely had really.

Sam nodded and prompted Cas to continue.

"I know Dean loves me, I really do and I do too of course. I love him with everything I have in me. But.." Cas faded off.

"But what Cas?"

"My Father.. he doesn't approve, it's not fit for an angel to be in love with someone else of the same gender, yet alone be human" Cas said, looking down at the duvet sheepishly.

"So? Since when has your Father aka God been around long enough to care what anyone is doing?"

"Since now Sam."

"Why do you care what he thinks? Look Cas, Dean is yours okay? Nobody can take-"

"He's going to kill you both."

"What?"

"He's killing you both unless I back off-" tears formed in his eyes, blocking his view completely, " I tried Sam, I really did try. But they... they weren't reasonable. They didn't want to listen. The angels had orders from God! No way they'd deny them. Until I agreed to let Dean go, I was cruelly tortured. And even then it was still 'no' until God himself brought in 'an offer I couldn't refuse'. And I couldn't say no to that.. You and Dean? You guys are my family. The only thing I know! I wasn't going to let that happen to you two."

He collapsed into sobs, his shoulders shaking and ugly sounds coming out of his mouth. Sam felt awkward not doing anything so he went over and hugged the angel.
He put his long(ish) arms around him and hugged him tightly. Cas hugged him back, he was slightly unsure but eventually gave in, now gradually stopping to cry.
After a minute or so, he wiped his eyes on the back of his hands and laughed shyly at himself for crying too much today alone. He then both apologized and thanked Sam.
Sam shrugged it off, as usual, assuming he hadn't really helped all that much.

"So what's the plan for now?" Sam asked.
"I have to get away as far away from you too as I can."
"Gee Cas, am I really that bad?" Sam joked chuckling to himself at his own little joke.
Cas smiled.
"I want to go now. And I think it'd be best if Dean didn't know.. would you agree?"
"I think you could at least say goodbye."
"I'm not telling him the truth though Sam. He'd probably start looking for ways to get his own back if he hasn't alreadly" Cas said nervously before catching the look on his best friend's face.

"He already has, hasn't he?" Cas asked, shaking his head fondly.

Sam nodded and admitted how they'd been at it all day and it was what Dean was currently doing downstairs.
Cas got up from the bed, pulling the duvet off him grudging slightly.
"Should I go down and see him now?" Cas asked, wincing harshly as he put his full on body weight on his feet and tried walking around the bedroom.

"Yeah but maybe it'd be a good idea if you changed those bloody clothes first.."

Before changing, Cas hopped in for a quick shower as Sam lay down on the bed some clean clothes; a fresh white shirt (his shirt really), some dark pants (also his but they were old and never worn) and Cas' now clean trench coat that he had dumped in the wash earlier.

He looked great when he was all dressed up. He looked like himself at last.

Sam held the bedroom door open for him as he walked out. He was feeling relaxed from the shower and confident.

He was ready to say goodbye to his boyfriend.
With "ready" meaning totally petrified and unprepared of course...