For Crying Out Loud

35: Here Comes Goodbye

Jake's P.O.V.

The last two weeks we had together, we spent every day-light moment together. I'd pick her up at seven in the morning and bring her home around seven at night. We agreed not to have anymore nights together, that the barn was the perfect last one. I'd never slept better those two weeks, I'd have good dreams that didn't make me cry when I woke up. I actually started going home and packing myself. I'd actually talk to my Mom over coffee, and she never dared to bring up Amy or the missing bottles of alcohol. It was calm, and if I wanted to, I could forget that Sia was leaving in a matter of days.

I took her on lunch dates and walks around the blocks. There wasn't much in this small town, but just being together made the world look beautiful. I had taken her for granted all these year. These two weeks, I swore I fell for her all over again. I fell for her laugh and the little crinkles that formed around her eyes when she smiled at me. I fell for the way she flipped her hair while she was reading or writing. I fell for the way her voice lulled me as she read to me. We were trying to make these last weeks worth something.

On the last day, I picked her up at her house early and had coffee with her and her mom, who didn't seem to hate me anymore. Then we met with her brother at Charlie's and shot pool until lunch, he didn't seem to hate me anymore either. I took her to Applebee's and paid thirty dollars for us to eat, and usually my cheap ass wold complain, but this was our last day. I'd buy her a yacht if that's what she wanted. She was my world, and I wanted to give her the actual world.

"Where did you go?" She randomly asked, taking a bite from her pasta. I swallowed mine and arched my eyebrows. "You disappeared the weeks before prom. Where did you go?"

"Oh, I went somewhere else." She glared at me and I sighed out a laugh. "I went to watch the sunsets and rises in New Orleans, Las Vegas, and somewhere in Arizona. It help me clear my head." She nodded, smiling at me as she reached across the table and swiped her thumb over my cheek before placing it in her mouth. "Hey! I was saving that for later." I pouted. She playfully kicked me under the table and took another bite.

"I figured as much. After you beat the shit out if my dad, I expected you to disappear." She laughed. I smile and reach other, grabbing her hand.

"One day you're going to get me in a hell of a lot of trouble." She and I have been talking freely about one day. It's come to the point that we are ignoring the fact she is leaving tomorrow morning. I would rather deal with it at the last possible moment. I would be there tomorrow to see her go. I would say my 'see ya later' and hope that it's true. I would cry when I got home. I don't want to let her go, but I had to. We had already been through so much already, we could handle a little while without each other. She promised we would still talk, she even offered to let me spend the rest of the summer up there with her, but I rejected her offer. We had to get this done, now or never. If we spend another month and a half together, there was no way I could let her go.

"That's how you know you did something worth doing, getting in trouble for it." She smirked at me. I had opened up about the whole 'doing things worth doing' obsession I have retained, now she keep picking at me about it.

"Well you'll most definitely be Somebody when your mug shot is all over the news." She giggles as I pay for the meal and leave a tip.

Afterward we just sat in the car, music blaring, chain smoking cigarettes and cuddling just for the hell of it. She smelled of coffee and coconut as always, and I had caught myself breathing in her scent. She was so beautiful. I never wanted to let her go.

She kept my hand on her stomach, acknowledging the vacancy. I believe we were both at terms with losing the baby, but we both obviously still thought about he or she. Sierra believed it was a boy. But, I like the thought of another Sierra. It wasn't a depressing thought anymore. It was just another one of the many 'what if's' to this life.

Our last day together was beautiful and calm. I loved her, she loved me, but we had let go now.

At home that night, I stayed up doing the one thing I swore I'd never do. I wrote. I wanted my sweet Sierra to take a part of me with her, so I wrote her what is most probably the worst letter in history, but I still wrote it. I still spent the entire night perfecting it. I still cried while it printed, because this was going to be the end. The sun was rising, it was 5:30. Sierra would be on her way to Boston in an hour. I shoved the letter in the envelope, along with something else. Here comes goodbye.

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Bruh. Two more chapters, then the epilogue. I think I'm going to cry while writing the next chapter. VOTE, COMMENT, TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!! LOVE YOU MY DARKLINGS!!!