For Crying Out Loud

9: I Need You

Sierra's P.O.V

     I wake up again at mid-day with a sharp pain in my stomach. No one is in the room with me. Mama probably went to work and everyone else can't stand the sight of broken things.

My stomach twists, followed by an even sharper pain. I curl into myself and scream out. The pain keeps coming. Over and over and over. It gets worse with every breath I take. It's excruciating.

Two nurses storm in. One heaves me to sit up, and another holds a trash can under my mouth. I don't need to throw up though. I shake my head and grasp my stomach, crying out again. I look down then. Through blurred vision I see blood sprout from my central area. I look over at the nurse with damp cheeks and whisper through strained vocal chords "what's happening?" I croak.

"Honey, I think you just had a miscarriage." I thrash as the pain becomes unbearable and I fall into unconsciousness.

Three Months ago

"You want to break up?" I whisper as I rest on the blue comforter of my bed and look down at my hands.

"I think it's best for both of us." Jake says sadly. He leans against my dresser looking over at me. I look up at him questionably. "This way you can follow your dreams and I won't slow you down." I shake my head as tears burn against my eyelids.

"You wouldn't have slowed me down, you'd have given me reason to keep going." I say slowly. He walks over and sits beside me, pulling me into his muscular frame.

"Now you can find a new reason. You can't spend your life depending on others to keep you strong. You need to learn how to be independent and become your own inspiration. I know it hurts. It hurt me to do this, but I think if we go our separate ways we can become better people."

"I'm only a good person when I'm with you Jake." I feel a tear slide down my cheek. He wipes it away with a pained hesitation.

"We need to learn to be good people on our own." He says. I nod and sniffle as he hugs me tighter.

"Can I have I good-bye kiss?" I ask. He smiles at me a little as he tilts my chin up and presses his lips to mine.

At first it's soft and sweet, but that was never our foretaste. Within moments I'm in his lap, kissing him hard and deep. He wraps his arms around my back and pulls me tight against him. I can feel him through his jeans. He flips us over and pins my arms over my head as I allow his lips to envelope mine. I pull his shirt off, spending a moment to admire the firm tanned skin of his chest and arms. I look up into his brown eyes that are half-covered by darker strands of hair. Then he kisses me again. Slow and drawn out enough for me to savor every second. His familiar taste explodes into my mouth as his tongue enters, wrestling with mine.

Everything else happens so fast, I can't even begin to describe it. I blackout after a while, and when I come back I have this feeling of satisfaction as my head lays against his chest. That satisfaction is short lived though as I look up at him and ask the inevitable.

"What does this mean for us?" I whisper, my chin presses against the center of his chest. He sighs sadly, and runs his fingers through my hair one last time.

"My decision still stands Sierra. I do hope are friendship stays intact though." I close my eyes as I feel my heart break, and I stand up to put my clothes back on. He does the same.

"I don't get why you have to do this Jake. After every goddamned thing we've been through..." That's when it hits me. "Who is she?" I whisper, looking at him from the reflection of my full-body mirror.

"Why must you expect there to be someone else?" He says, tugging his shirt back on.

"Because I know how guys work. Better yet, I know how you work. Who is she?"

He sighs as he runs his fingers through his hair. "Amy." He whispers. I look over at him infuriated.

"Amy? Your leaving me for Amy!?" I yell.

"Calm down, there is no reason to yell." He say consolingly, walking to me and reaching to touch my cheek. I jerk away and glare at him.

"On top of it all you degrade me to break-up sex!" I growl through gritting teeth. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Sia, please don't make such a big deal out of this." He begs. At that I slap him. I regret it as soon as I do, but I'm crying to hard now to apologize. He pulls me into another hug and he kisses my forehead. I cry, to weak to pull away from him.

"How could you do this to me?" I whisper.

"I promised you I'd always do what was best for you, this is me keeping that promise. Sierra, you can get somewhere so much farther without me then you ever could with me."

"Why Amy?" I sob.

"Amy needs my push. I'm her leverage. Amy needs me."

"I need you." I croak. He just stands there as I cry into his shirt, and he caresses my red curls. After a while he just leaves me there, completely unprepared for the pain to follow.

_______~|~
Well shit, she was pregnant. To make it worse, she got pregnant over break-up sex. To make it worse than worse, she had a miscarriage, and spoiler alert: she had no idea she was pregnant. Ahh, drama and irony. The way life works. Anywho! Vote and tell me what you think! LOVE YOU MY DARKLINGS!