For Crying Out Loud

34: The Perfect Last Night

Sierra's P.O.V

     I took out the paint markers that Jake had stashed in his glove compartment, and I chose a small corner where the yellow mixed with some blue and orange. Everyone else had finished up their art work. Jude painted some weed and drew a skull beside it, Hope and Heaven worked together to draw themselves holding each other's hand. Krissy and Walter painted what resembled a skate board with their initials and a heart. Traya drew a penis. (She was still pretty fucked up on whatever Jude gave her) Siana painted a flower. Bethany drew a flashlight. Jade painted a skull with vines wrapped around it. Jarrod even showed up and and drew a pair of fangs. Fucking Albino Vampire. It was my turn now.

     I told everyone to go in the barn and do whatever, that I couldn't work with them breathing down my neck, but in reality, I had writers block. I didn't draw or paint. That wasn't my art. My art is words, but right I can't fathom what to say. I closed my eyes, my fingers wrapped tightly around the black paint marker. I set the tip to the wood and allowed my hand to roam free.

Remember who you are.
Remember where you came from.
Never forget where you want to go from there.

This world is not broken, the people are just fractured.

I want to be Somebody.

Sometimes I fear the world will convulse
Under all the pressure bestowed
And swallow itself whole.
I more often fear, though, that I might do the same.
Now the question is: what will convulse first?
Me vs. The World.

     This was a different kind of goodbye. It had no proof of being permanent or being temporary. There was no way to know who would leave after today and never call or pop up at scheduled gatherings. There is no way to tell who will strive and who will fail. I have a goal, though. You see, I will have faith that one day we will all wind up right back here. I want to remember everything I told myself to keep me alive after all these years. I wanted to come back here, after I have my entire life in order, and see these sayings. I don't want to forget. So these words will stay here. Hopefully, forever.

     "Hey, why are you crying?" Jake sits beside me and pulls me into his arms. I hadn't realized I was crying until now, as I sobbed and sobbed into his shirt, clinging to him for dear life.

     "I.. I c-can't belie-eve it's o-over." I hiccup into his shoulder as he rubs my back. After a few minutes, he grabs my hand and makes me look at him. I wonder if he knew what I was crying about. I had been prepared to leave my friends. I have had it planned out and set for years now. That isn't what I couldn't believe was over. It was him. It was us. I couldn't believe we were really over. It literally just settled in. He wipes my tears away with his thumb, and his next words prove to me that he knows me to well.

     "Sierra, no matter how many times we say it's over, over love will never be finished. It will always remain an open wound waiting to be stitched up. The fact that I still love you this damned much only reminds me how important you are to me, so no. This isn't over. One day, some how, we will be alright. We might be eighty something years old by the time we find each other again, but we will. You were right about what you said, about leaving everything behind. When you leave, and I'm waiting until you get on that plane, I will head upstate and I will start doing more stuff like this." He motions to his mural with pride. "Right now though, you need to get your shit together Sierra Paige, because you have dreams to chase. We both do. Our paths will cross again. I'm sure of it. And when it does I will never let you slip away again." I nod and he wipes away more stray tears. "Now get up and come inside. Jarrod brought some shit for s'mores. So we are going to start a fire when you're ready."

     I smile and nod, leaning over and kissing him slowly. He melts under my touch as I move my fingers down his jaw and neck, resting in his shoulder. Our tongues intertwine and dance with each other, and his fingers slide up my hips fondly. When we break away, we are both breathless. I smile at him again. "I'll be in there in just one second." He nods and gives me a quick peck on the cheek before running back into the barn.

     I grab the marker between my fingers again and write one more thing.

Jake Leonardo: The boy I still fucking love.

     The next couple of hours, we all sat around a fire, roasting marshmallows and reminiscing memories. We laughed about the time Jude tumbled in a trash can because he was so high back in tenth. Everyone picked on me and Jake about the time they all caught us doing it out by the pond behind my house. They even reenacted the fight between me and Amy for Jake. He kept his arm around the whole time, and I even allowed myself the bliss of snuggling close. This might be our last night together for a long time, and I wanted to make it count. No sex, just us.

      Even after it got really late and Krissy and Walter went to fuck, followed by Jude, Jade, and Traya (which shocked the shit out of us), Bethany called Johnny to come over, and Jarrod left. Jake and I stayed outside under the stars, by the fire, sharing sweet quick kisses and laughing at back stories. It was beautiful, and it was the most perfect way to put this on pause, or still perhaps stop completely. We laid there on a blanket just talking like old times until the sun rose. It was the perfect last night.

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Aweee, how sweet. The story is coming to a close you guys!! VOTE COMMENT AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! LOVE YOU MY DARKLINGS!!!