For Crying Out Loud

12: No Greater Lie

     Sierra's P.O.V

     What the hell?" Precious jumps from the passenger seat to my side where I'm kneeling on the ground with Jake in my arms. He's drenched in sweat, and I can feel his heart beat in his head. Precious kneels down next to him and checks his pulse. "He needs water and a wet towel on his head. I'm going to run inside to get that. Stay here." She trots off inside Charlie's.

     I switch my position to an Indian form and lean my back against my car. Jake just lies there in my lap, unmoving. My heart grows tired of all this torment.

      I run my fingers through his damp hair; then I sigh as I stop abruptly. No more affection. I just wait for Precious to return as I breathe in and out as slowly as possible. When she does, she attentively places the damp rag on Jake's forehead.

     People have started staring and asking if we need help, but Precious dismisses them all. She continuously checks his pulse and sighs in relief when his heart rate begins to slow to a normal pace. She acknowledges me then, looking at me sadly.

     "So I'm guessing this is Jake?" She asks. I nod. I told her everything over coffee. I went through every moment and every emotion, and she just listened intently. "He seems a bit insane." She laughs. I scoff and smile at her, looking down at Jake's features as memories swim through the infinitive space in my mind.

     "We all are. Trust me." I whisper. She smiles at me sadly and rests beside me, allowing our shoulders to brush against each other. I take a deep breath and sigh out a laugh. She looks over at me questionably. "Sorry, I just thought about how dramatic all of this is. I never in a million years would have thought I'd wind up in this position, living this kind of life."

    "Life works in odd ways, that's for sure." She says with a light sigh in her words. I keep my eyes on Jake as time passes by. We sit in a consoling silence as we await his awakening.

I grow tired as time ticks by. My legs grow numb from his weight. He finally wakes, bolting upright as the rag falls into his lap. He looks at me with brown eyes dulled by the deepest sorrow, and he hugs me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and sulking into the crook of my neck. I don't hug back, but I don't push him away either. I just sit there with a lump growing in my throat.

      "I'm so sorry." He whispers. His breaths caress my neck, sending an unwelcomed shiver through my spine. I sigh, finally earning the will to push him away.

     He looks at me with hurt in his eyes. His shoulders shake with anxious stress and his breaths come in a broken rhythm. I almost lean into hug him. Almost.

     "How are you feeling?" I ask him. He arches his eyebrow at me.

     "Drained. Emotionally and physically drained." He acknowledges Precious then. Looking her over with solitude. I sigh as I introduce them.

     "Jake this is my friend Precious. Precious this is Jake."

     Precious nods at him as she stands up. "I've heard a lot about you." She says, avoiding eye contact. She looks out at the sky, then at the people who have been staring us all down for the past hour and a half. She walks to them without a word. Jake watches her go.

     "Great time for a date." He says sarcastically. I roll my eyes and stand as well, walking to a bench across the lot. He follows, sitting next to me. I look him over, noting the dark circles around his eyes. I then turn my head, looking at the greying sky as I await the rain destined to come.

     "Why are you here, Jake?" I asks casually. He takes a deep slow breath.

     "I wanted to make sure you were okay." He says sincerely. I ignore the sincerity, I don't believe it from him anymore. I close my eyes before I look over at him again, preparing myself for the argument to come.

     "You could have made sure I was okay while I was in the hospital, but you were obviously to focused on keeping your girlfriend happy to do so." I say. He groans and slumps back on the bench, running his fingers though his hair.

     "I'm trying to do what's best for everyone, Sia. I'm not doing this to hurt anyone."

     "Well you're failing. You said goodbye, I still don't get why you're here."

     "You were pregnant."

     "But now I'm not."

     "You tired to kill yourself."

    "But I'm still alive."

     "How are you?"

     "I'm happy to be out of the hospital."

     He smirks. "You've always hated hospitals."

     I don't return his smirk. "You brought me there."

     He drops his smirk. "I wasn't going to let you die." He says, looking over at me again.

     I look away again, focusing on the sky. "You should have." I whisper. He shakes his head. Now the argument starts.

     "I wasn't going to let you fucking die! You mean to much to me!" He yells, I see Precious looking over at us. I shake my head at her, mentally telling her not to get involved.

     "You have a funny way of showing you care about some one Jake! You left me! I wanted to die because I was fucking tired of people leaving, but you left anyway!" I look at him now, meeting his piercing gaze with my own.

     "I did what I had to!" He growls. I shake my head and laugh sarcastically.

     "No. You did what Amy told you to do. And that's fine. It's whatever. I'm glad you left. I'm glad I lost the baby. I'm glad I don't have to see your face every damned day after this month. I'm done Jake. I'm done with this... This charade of yours. You've proven time and time again just how much I fucking mean to you, and I sure as hell don't want any part of you in my life now. If you are going to force me to live, if all of these people are going to force me to live, I don't want to be tortured daily, so I'm glad you chose her. Now I can leave without giving a damn. I'm glad I took the pills. It woke me up. I'm tired of this bullshit, Jake. I'm tired of the games and constantly feeling used. I'm tired, and I'm done." I stand up then, shoving my shaking hands in my pockets. He looks at me with anger and sorrow as he stands as well.

     "Fine. If that's how you feel, then I should go. Goodbye Sierra."

     "I'm so glad you finally had the balls to say it to my face. Goodbye Jake." He huffs as he walks away. I'm so fucking glad he walks away.

     These are the lies I tell myself to keep going. I tell myself I'm glad he's gone. I'm glad I lost the baby. I'm glad. I'm glad. I'm glad. These are the lies I try so hard to believe.

As I walk up to Precious, and look back one last time at his disappearing silhouette, she asks me if I'm okay. I tell her I'm fine. But oh, there is no greater lie.

______~|~
Well, she stood up for herself. How do you think Amy will react to Jake's conquest to find Sia? I'm sorry it took so long to update, but I'm out of school now, so I can focus on Looking at You and this one. Like, Vote, And Tell me what you think! I love you my darklings!