For Crying Out Loud

5: Fight Without Her

Jake's P.O.V

This is my fault. I know it is. I let her lose herself because I was to caught up in all this bullshit. Now she is in the back seat dying. Dear god.

I pull up at the emergency doors at the hospital and call for one of the men to get her. She's puked all in the back seat and she's foaming at the mouth... But she's breathing. She's alive.

The doctors pull off with her and I follow until we enter the hall and a small stalky woman places her hand on my chest. "You must stay here sir." She says irritably. I don't argue with her. I have phone calls to make.

I turn around and walk back outside, pulling my phone from my pocket. Three missed calls from Amy. Ah hell. Ignore. I dial Ms. Paige's number. She answers on the fourth ring.

"Hello?" She says into the phone. I sigh.

"Hey it's Jake. I uhm.. Sierra's in the hospital. I came over to talk to her and when I got there she was Overdosed on the floor. She is alive, so take a deep breath, please. I'm sorry. Please come when you can." I say in a rush, knowing I might break down in took my time. Stone silence lingers in the air. She breaths ruggedly "Ms. Paige..." I whisper.

"I'll be there soon." She croaks. You can hear the muffled tears in her voice right before she hangs up. I text our friends and tell them to text her friends. They all question me, and say they'll be here whenever possible. I sit down on a near by bench and allow myself to break.

The tears dribble down my cheeks and I hiccup with every sob. I hold my head in my hands and cry. How could this have happened? How had I not noticed she was getting this bad? Had I really been that oblivious? After all this time, this is how things might end. I can't accept that. I can't live with that. That's my best friend in there dying, and it's all because of me and my stupidity.

My phone rings. It's Amy.

"Hey babe." I sniffle. She's angry. I know she is.

"Don't you dare fucking 'babe' me. You're at that damn hospital aren't you? With her? Of course you are because you told everybody the slut is dead."

Now I'm angry. "Damn you Amy!" I yell into the phone. "She isn't dead and she isn't going to be. She isn't a slut and she never has been. You don't fucking know her! So fuck off." People have started to look my way in shock. Mothers begin pulling their kids off. I don't feel guilty about it. I have other reasons to feel like shit.

"I gave you a choice Jake." She says cold and calmly, "I gave you a choice. Her or me. You can't have both. You don't think I see the way you look at her? Or the way she looks at you? You left her so you could be with me, are you questioning that now?"

"No. Of course not." I honestly don't know how I feel about either one of them, but I do know Amy won't disappear next year to go to Boston without me. I do know Amy has nothing better to do but follow me. I do know Amy will let me lead on where we go. I do know Amy will put me ahead of her passions. All Sierra ever did was write. Write. Write. Write. And Because of that, she planned out a future for herself. A future I don't think I was really part of. "Look. I'm sorry baby. It's just I was worried about her, and I went to say good-bye. When I got there she was dying. I couldn't just let her die." Amy would never try to kill herself. She would never do that to me. That's why I stay.

"Well you got her to the hospital, now you fucking leave. If you go and see her again, we're through."

My heart sinks, and I close my eyes. "Okay..." I whisper. Then I hang up, unsure what to do.

Mr. Paige runs up to me, pulling me into a hug. She's short and round with chopped off red hair much shorter than her daughter's. Tears bead down her cheeks as she squeezes me. "My baby.. Is she okay?" She sobs. I'm blunt with her, hugging her back.

"She didn't look to good when we got here, but she was breathing. They wouldn't let me go with her, so I really don't know anything else." She nods and pull away.

"I'm going to go talk to the doctors and call Darren. I'm pretty sure he's in Illinois right now, but he should know. Are you coming in?" She says. My skin crawls at Sierra's biological father's name. The things he did to her disgust me. He's the main reason she's so broken. Beating her since she was seven. It's repulsive, but it's not my right to worry anymore. I shake my head and look at her mother. The one who stayed.

"No ma'am. I'm not going to be around much anymore." She looks at me questionably, and my heart twists. "Just tell her I said I love her and I'm sorry... And goodbye." I say lightly. Her eyes grow worried.

"Son, I don't think she can handle losing you." She states. Her tears have dried up now, but mine are about to start falling.

"She'll be fine without me." I say, trying to keep hold of my emotions. Ms. Paige's eyebrows crease as she takes a slow breath.

"Will you be fine without her?" She asks. That question, though just a question, hits me like a bullet in the heart. I don't know. I truly do not know if I can be fine without her, but I guess I'm going to have to be. I nod at Ms. Paige.

"Yes, I have Amy now." I say. She looks at me with disbelief and walks away without a word. She's disappointed. I know she is. I am too. I turn around and start walking home, leaving Sierra to fight her battles without me, and leaving myself to fight mine without her.

_______~|~
But he has Amy now... He may come off sort of like a bipolar dick, mainly because he is, but there is a reason why Sierra loves him. You will find out in a couple chapters. Also, you can tell he really does care about Sierra. He's just confused. Excuses excuses. Vote. Tell me what you think. LOVE YOU MY DARKLINGS!!!