Fallen

Chapter Eight

     After we all finish eating, we head back to the motel. Once we're there, the boys go back to their seats at the round table, sitting in almost the exact same positions they were in before we left. Sam typing away on his laptop and Dean with a new drink in his hand. I can't help but laugh a little.

"Is this what you guys do all day?" I plop down on the edge of one of the beds.

"It's research," Sam says. "For the vamp case we're working."

     Dean takes a swig of his drink and puts his feet up on the table. "Some research you're doing there, Dean," I say. "Keep up the good work." Sam half smiles.

     "I like to think of myself as the supporter," Dean says. "You got this, Sammy, good work!" I laugh as Sam rolls his eyes.

     I sit watching the boys for a moment before I realize that I haven't checked in with Mother. I reach into my back pocket and pull out my iPhone. Just as I open my messages, Dean speaks up.

     "Who are you texting? Your boyfriend?" He teases.

     "Boyfriend," I scoff. "That's funny." I open the conversation on my phone between my mother and me and send her a message. I'm safe. I'm with two guys named Sam and Dean Winchester. I think one of them kinda hates me, but Castiel trusts them, I can tell. I'll call you if anything happens. I press send. "Guys don't exactly like me," I continue.

     "Aw come on, there has to be someone," Dean presses as I put my phone back in my pocket.

     I really wish he'd stop talking, but I want the two of them to trust me. So I spill. "Okay, sure, there have been like two guys, but like I said, they didn't like me. Like... Really like me."

     "So... What? They dumped you?" Jesus Christ, Dean, please stop talking.

     I sigh. "Yeah, but... Not before we..." I pause and awkwardly look up at Cas.

     "I don't need to hear about this," he says. Then he disappears right before my eyes. I scratch the back of my neck.

     "So the angel's daughter isn't a virgin," Dean says, bringing his drink up. "Didn't see that coming." He drinks.

     "Hey in my defense, I grew up with a mom I thought was crazy because she constantly told me that my dad who was never around was a freaking Angel of the Lord," I say. The two of them are giving me a look of pity that also says 'touché.' "So forgive me for needing a little affection from a normal person."

     "Hey," Dean holds his hands up in surrender. "I don't judge. We've all been there."

     "Oh sure, like you've ever been rejected," I say to him.

     He brings his feet down off the table and leans forward. "What makes you think that?"

     "Well look at you!" I say, gesturing to him. "You're freaking gorgeous!" I slap both my hands over my mouth. I can feel my entire face turn red. Holy crap, did I just say that?

Sam just sits there wide-eyed. Dean on the other hand. Dean sits up straighter and pops the collar of his leather jacket with a confident smirk on his face. "Why thank you," he plumes.

I cover my face with my hands to hide the embarrassment that's all over it. "I did not mean to say that out loud," I say through my hands, peaking through my fingers.

"You just made my whole week, sweetheart," Dean says.

Sam awkwardly shifts in his seat. "I'm uncomfortable."

"If you'll excuse me, I'm just gonna go crawl in a hole and die." I get up from my spot on the bed and head to the bathroom in the motel room. When I'm inside, I try to wash my embarrassment away with cold water. After I've mostly recovered from my own comment, I wash my eyeliner and mascara off my eyes. Then I take my hair out of its ponytail and shake it out. I run my fingers through it a little and exit the bathroom.

The guys are getting up from their seats when I close the bathroom door behind me. "Where are you going?"

"We got a lead on where the vamp nest is," Sam says, shutting his laptop.

"Nest?" I say. "Vampires have nests?"

"Yup," Dean says. "And we have to go kill everything in it."

"Awesome! Can I come?"

"No," they say simultaneously.

"Sorry, kid, but you'll just slow us down," Dean says.

"Maybe next time," Sam says as they make their way to the door. "We'll lock the door behind us, but don't leave this room. Cas will be pissed if he finds out we left you alone."

"Hey where is Cassy, anyway?" I ask.

"No idea," Sam answers. "He does this thing where he'll disappear and not come back for a couple days." He and Dean leave the motel room and I hear the click of the door locking.

"So it's not just me," I mumble to myself. "He walks out on his friends too."

I start to make my way toward my bag when a familiar voice speaks from behind me. "Is that what you think I did?"

I nearly jump out of my skin and turn around to see that it's only Cas. I try to think of any way I could possibly get out of having this conversation, but nothing comes to mind. "Well yeah," I finally say. "You came, you saw, you took my source of power, and you left. Never to be seen again."

"I had duties I had to fulfill."

"What duties? Hanging out with a couple of vampire hunters in a cheap motel room?" This is it. I always told myself that I would tell off my father if I ever got occasion. I never thought I would actually get to, though. But here I am. Standing in front of him. "How long have you been on Earth with these guys, anyway?" I ask.

He sighs. "Four years."

"Four years?! Are you kidding me?! In four whole years, how many times have you had even just five minutes to spare? Five minutes that you could've used to introduce yourself to your own daughter?"

"Celeste, I-"

"I'm not finished yet!" I cut him off. I'm livid. It's finally all coming out. Everything I've been bottling up all my life. "Do you know how many nights I stayed up as a kid just waiting? Waiting to see if Daddy would ever come home? Years! Every night for years! I stayed up just waiting for him. Waiting for you." I feel tears start to roll down my cheeks.

"I spent some nights crying, wondering to myself 'Why doesn't my daddy love me?' I was eight! No eight year old should ever think stuff like that! Ever!" The tears roll much faster now. "I've spent my whole life not knowing if you were dead or just didn't want anything to do with me. All I wanted was five minutes!"

At this point, I start hitting his chest. They're petty hits, but I still hit him as the tears pour from my eyes. I keep repeating 'Five minutes, five minutes' over and over as I hit him until finally he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest. My sobs are loud and uncontrollable. I gasp for air between sobs as Castiel places one of his hands on my head and begins to rock me back and forth.

"I'm so sorry, Celeste," he whispers. "I'm so sorry."