Minecraft Diaries Zane x Reader | Changed

Inner Torment

Warning, this chapter contains sensitive material and sexual references. Cough

At first I didn't know what to expect of Zane. He seemed like an angst-y guy when I first met him, but seeing him now makes me rethink my opinion on him. I always thought he was dark, but depressed? That's what it looks like. He had left the room, and though I hated being alone and going against his wishes, I picked up his notebook again. I was a bit afraid of what I would see next. I was a bit afraid to read the rest of the poem. I flipped to the back of that page and read the first thing my eyes fell on

(Warning, feels and swears)

I don't know what to do anymore. As the High Priest of O'Khasis I cannot let my weakness show. But, I need help. I don't know how to deal with myself. I bring destruction and pain to everyone around me.

I read a few pages later

YOU'RE THE REASON WHY MOM IS GONNA LEAVE.....

WHERE WAS YOUR PRESENCE WHERE WAS YOUR SUPPORT THAT YOU PRETENDED?

Irene herself would say I fucking failed....

I cry myself to sleep, bitch everything is my fault!

I know your secrets, don't let me tell them to the world about the shit I'm thinking!

I'm fucked up, but not as fucked up as you!

My eyes started burning with tears. I didn't know he was this messed up inside. I felt one slip down my face. It seemed as if Zane was referring to himself as a separate person in general.  I quickly turned the pages, but carefully enough so that I didn't rip the pages out by accident. One immediately caught my eye.

Wow, This girl named Y/N is the most beautiful woman I've ever met. When I see her I feel like I'm walking on air. She's one of the only things in this world that actually make me happy. If I could just have her as mine one day, maybe I could change. Maybe she can pull me out of this darkness that I feel. I'm just glad I've even seen her. Her laugh is infectious and beautiful, she isn't the most graceful which actually makes her fairly cute, her lips look so cute when shes smirking, her eyes twinkle like the stars, and she's just an overall good person.

"(Y/N),  I thought I told you to go to sleep," Zane said as I nearly jumped out of my skin at his sudden appearance. "Zane, why,"

"I'd rather not talk about it," He said walking over and taking his notebook from my hands, "I bet it's no use, you know don't you?"

"Zane, you need some help," I whispered looking up at him. Zane put the book down and sat me on his lap like I was straddling him.

"That's why I have you, you help me out so much. (Y/N) I need you," Zane growled into the crook of my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

"Zane, please. I'm not ready for this," I said with nervously.

"I can tell." His blue eye was beautiful.