Radiance

Chapter Sixteen

“Why should I care!” he whispered to himself furiously. She was worse than the rest! She’d dragged this out, made him believe and even given him hope then pulled it all out from under his feet. The cheap charade with Bynethrin must have had them in hysterics; they’d planned it all together.

But something just wouldn’t sit easy with him. She had confided in him to. Her awe was real. The hours in the tree tops just weren’t false and he knew it in his heart. His heart. How could she have got that far? Her smiles and distant looks when reminiscing fluttered into his mind and a tug was felt in his chest. He cared for her so much more than he cared to admit. The irony of it was painful; he’d fallen - for her. Everything was wrong. Elior had done this to himself. From the moment he’d picked up her off the floor to catching her on the stairs, from defending her to Bynethrin to asking her to dance, from showing her his world to seeing him beg.

“What a fool...” he hung his head low. Three raps on the door snapped it back up. Who on earth would come to him now? He decided to leave it and return to his work to starve what little distraction he could from it. And then the knock came again followed by,

“Elior. It’s me. Please, let me in.”

He would know that voice anywhere. He froze and watched the door handle turn. He never thought to lock it; few were stupid enough come in unwanted.

She inched it open and eased her head through the gap.

“Oh,” she gasped as she laid eyes on him, “I didn’t expect you to be here – I mean, you didn’t answer so I thought I’d check anyway but well...” she fumbled for an excuse and edged herself in the room, closing herself in. “Please just listen to me for a minute, I need you to understand.”

“Understand your lies?” he spat.

“Yes, well it wasn’t meant to be like that, I - ”

“Enough!” he couldn’t bare anymore from her. She looked so genuine. He knew he would accept her as blameless if her let her carry on, she would take him in all over again so he wouldn’t let her have the chance. She stood there a little dumbstruck.

Why was she playing these games? There wasn’t much point in keeping the truth from her now; she knew everything else so he may as well let her have the rest. So with venom he dished it out.

“The very day you first set foot on Ebony Lands I attempted to frighten you away from this place by chasing you towards the river! Had you not stumbled you may have made the correct decision to stay away once and for all.” He paused and took a few deep breathes, calming the longing he held to hold her, protect her. “You’ve Fallen and this has all gone too far. Tamar, I tried to help you, stop you from coming into Ebony Lands and discourage your curiosity – I saw it from the start. I tried to show you this place’s truths before its lavishness intoxicated you, but I failed. You were drawn in and these animals tore you apart. I don’t even know who you are – not only didn’t you listen to me, you lied to me!” He looked away from her as her eyes filled with tears. “I would have moved mountains to stand by your side and help you escape!” He couldn’t stand that he was hurting her, those watery grey eyes were caused by him and it cut him deeper than he knew it could to turn away from her. Didn’t she understand what she’d done? Hadn’t she known of his reputation here?

He’d battled nearly his whole life to punish his Father for his stupidity and make those who tried to intimidate him, pay for their mistakes with fear. He’d never wanted to stay here. Yet now, when a shred of feeling had returned to him, he realised that the monster he’d become could truly belong nowhere else.

Elior felt a hand gently touch his back in the attempt to soften his anger. He snapped at this insinuation that she might control him in such a way and flinched fiercely to shake her off. Tamar gasped at the rejection and he turned to look down on her.