Dreams & Other Lost Things {Sequel to B&TBR}

Chapter 16: Never Have I Ever.

"I'm sorry."

That was the only thing Luke had to say to me after he had shot me in the back.

I didn't know what it was for, what it meant, or what Luke could possibly be apologizing for, besides shooting me in a dream. It had to mean something – but what? I thought back to all the conversations we had, everything he told me that he probably never really told anyone else. Was there something he could be lying to me about, or maybe just forgetting to tell me?

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was playing quietly on the small TV in Asher's room when I woke up. We were completely tangled in each other, breathing the same air, and living the same moment. I didn't want to be anywhere else in that moment. So when I had to force myself to get ready for a funeral I was not at all mentally prepared for, I took my time removing myself from Asher's arms. I didn't want to make him get up any sooner than he needed to, so I ran to the bathroom to get myself ready first.

I straightened my hair and contemplated pulling it up since I felt like it was one of those days where I didn't want to deal with it. I wanted it out of my face just like I wanted pain out of my life. But it wasn't that easy.

I put the same amount of makeup on my face as I did everyday – barely any. I never felt the need or the desire to spend 30 minutes doing my makeup, but I didn't blame any girl who did like to do that. After I finished that, I made my way back into the bedroom to find Asher sitting on my side of the bed, facing the large window on the opposite side of the room from the door.

There was no way to comfort a person who is grieving over the loss of a loved one. They just lost someone that used to be in their life and just a phone call away. In one of my classes I took to be a psychologist, I learned that I needed to accept the way the person felt. I needed to let Asher know he could cry in front of me, be angry, and just let it all out.

I never had anyone to do those things for me when Jessie died. I only had myself, and that clearly was not enough.

I climbed on top of the bed and crawled to the other side to sit behind him on my knees. I could then see that he had a picture frame in his hands, clutching it tightly. It was a family picture of young Asher and Brody and their mom and dad standing behind them. It looked like they were outside at maybe a family get-together or something of that sort.

I wrapped my arms around him from behind and felt him take a deep breath. "I'm here for you, Ash."

There was no reply. Instead, he gently pried my arms off of him and walked out of the room and into the bathroom. I felt my heart break even more, but I pushed myself up and pulled on a couple layers of clothes including a dress, scarf, and long coat. The air was still cold and crisp outside.

Brody and Keira were the only two people out of the group that didn't go to the funeral together. Asher hopped up front – I assume it was to stay away from everyone, including myself – while Quentin drove us to the church where Lia's service would be held. We would then head to the cemetery and finish a short service there as well.

At the church I followed behind Quentin once we all got out. Asher stayed in the back of the group with his hands shoved in his dress pants pockets. Quentin nudged my shoulder and I realized how stiff my face felt form not talking or smiling the whole way to the church.

"He'll be okay. Just remember what we talked about," Quentin said quietly to me. I nodded my head and wrapped my arms around myself. "By the way, what did you want to talk to me about? Was it important?"

I felt my throat. "It's important, but it can wait." It was going to be hard telling him about his brother's death while we were dealing with a death right then. I mentally screamed at myself for mentioning it at the wrong moment.