YOURS SINCERELY • newtmas au

51 | Newt

Dearest Tommy,

I just want to say I'm really sorry for putting you through my klunk. I know I made it seem like your fault, but wwasn't I was bloody lying to myself and it was easier to blame you than to realize that.

I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from, right now, but hear me out, will you, Tommy? I don't know where to start so I’ll start with this; I’m sorry for getting upset at you, when I knew that you were going through a hard time. I should've been more considerate.

I hate fighting, especially with you. What we have is too valuable to me to end over this. And I know it's such a ridiculous thing, to fuss over something as small as this, but I can't help but feel like I've been nothing but a pain to you, Tommy, and I'm afraid that you might dislike me because I'm too in-your-face.

To find another person like you would be impossible. You listen, you understand, you know when and when not to talk... I can go on and on, because writing to you is, like, one of the easiest things for me, but it just doesn't bloody feel right when I know you're reading this with a straight face and a hard heart.

I keep apologizing because I’ve been completely in the wrong to be so inconsiderate and act like a kid. I wasn't the friend I should've been, but I don't want to lose you because I think you're worth holding on to, and I don't know why, but whenever I had a bad day, or week, you always made me feel better. You're one of the few who could do that. And I feel like shit knowing that I'm not doing the same to you.

You genuinely mean the world to me, Tommy, and I can't believe how much I miss you. I know you find it hard to trust people and I’ve made it even bloody harder for you to trust me so I know it'll take time for you to feel ready to talk.

I'm ready to wait until you can talk to me. A lot of people walk in and out of my life but you're one of the few I ever really wanted to stay, and until I make things right with you, you're going to be constantly on my mind.

I’ve been a terrible friend for the last few days, but I think I was a good friend before, so couldn’t we try and go back to that?

Please accept this apology and I hope you can forgive me; I can’t help but believe that everything will turn out okay, because I know you're a bloody good person, Tommy. And you see the best in people.

Wishing you well and waiting for your reply,
Newt