Cold World

This is real .

Today was Candy's funeral. Not many people were expected to come. Candy barely spoke to her family , she loved them way to much to bring them in her dangerous life. The funereal home was full of D'boys , pimps , hoes and of course Gino , Shanel , James , Juan , Shawn and Roy. They were the closest thing to family for Kandi.

Out of respect Shanel and James stayed calm throughout the ceremony. Even though they were filled with rage. Just so much anger , so many emotions they didn't understand how to deal with em'  Shanel noticed a group of five females crying hysterically. She wondered who they were to Candy.

One of them who looked in there late 20's got up to sing "I'm going up to yonder" . The way she sung brought tears to Shanel eyes. So much emotion was filled in every word. James and Shanel walked up to look at Candy's body one last time hand in hand. Gino had left right before they announced everyone could see her for one last time.

Candy's skin still was so beautiful ,  her plump lips still beautiful. She looked at peace , and beautiful. James and Shanel both lit up seeing her one more time. Regardless of everything they still loved this woman.

"Can I ask who you are to my sister?" the woman who sung asked Shanel. Shanel was taken back how could she explain this ? And how could she look just like Kandi.

"Her daughter in a way .. and this is her son in a way" Shanel awkwardly spoke. The lady looked sad.

"I haven't seen my sister in forever or heard from her ..." she rambled.

"She was the strongest woman I ever met" Shanel spoke reminiscing.

"Do you mind if we talk after the burial .. I'd like to know how my sister's life was so would my cousins and mother" the lady asked her.

"Yes Ma'am " James agreed.

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Burial was sad , it was the final good-bye to Candy. Shanel wished she had more time. Or maybe even listened to her story , hell the woman raised her throughout the bad time she owed her that right?

"Baby go home ok ? Tell dad me and James got business to handle." Shanel kissed Juan long and emotionally.

"I love you." Juan kissed her forehead before heading back to the car.

"I love you to" Shanel weakly smiled.

Turning back around she watched her brother stand over Candy's grave. Stepping closer to him , she rested her hand on his shoulder.

"I know bubba" she cooed. James wiped his tears before turning around and embracing his sister. She was his world , and from here on out he vowed to love her regardless of everything. You never knew when the last day would be.

....................................

"I know this is probably awkward , but I just miss her you know ? " Candy's sister spoke.Shanel nodded her head in understanding.

"My names Carmen by the way. I was going to bring everybody else .. but they. Just couldn't handle it. It's been over 10 years since I've heard her voice." Carmen told them.

"Gino. Was her husband ?' Carmen asked.

"Yes" James answered.

"Wow" Carmen blurted out.

"Wow ?" Shanel questioned.

"Kandi never really liked his type. I guess things change if she married the guy" Carmen joked but still meant every word.

"Kandi raised us. kinda brought us in her and Gino. But recently we've found out somethings and haven't been talking.  " James blurted out.

"Its complicated you understand right?" Shanel assured.

"No." Carmen replied confused

"Kandi was a good mom to us . She was a good woman period" James rambled.

"Was she happy?" Carmen finally asked.

"When she was with us." Shanel whispered. Carmen nodded her head. It was heartbreaking to know your sister was depresed and commited suicide. All these years she'd hope Kandi would find her way back home. Guess it was just a little to late..

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Afterawhile Carmen decided she hear enough and took the drive back to her town. Kandi was heavy on her mind the whole entire drive.

On her doorstep was her mail. One blue envelope with the infinty symbol drawn on it .

Dear Family , I love you guys. I've sepearated myself from you guys for your own protection. Life hasnt been perfect but I've held on for this long. Now I feel like its time to go. Please dont cry , think of the postive. Do not contact my husband ! live a happy life please ! I love you guys and check your banking accounts I've always looked out for you guys...

Carmens banking account held $90, 000 dollars and a picture of her and her sister as children. This was the only peace she could have of her sister